


Devastation

by MaxiBrux



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Gen, New Moon AU, No HEA, POV Multiple
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22547680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxiBrux/pseuds/MaxiBrux
Summary: After the Cullens leave in New Moon Bella tries to move on with Jake but it ends when they realise their relationship is doomed.Victoria has to get creative with her vengeance and it is the humans of Forks who pay the ultimate price before words gets to the Cullens and they return to protect Bella.
Relationships: Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale, Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen, Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Embry Call/Tanya, Emmett Cullen/Rosalie Hale, Jacob Black/Bella Swan
Comments: 12
Kudos: 34





	1. Bella - Can't See Any Way Around It

**Author's Note:**

> All the characters belong to SM. I’ve just borrowed them.

I was lying in hospital thinking. I know, why would ‘thinking’ be worthy of note?  
I was thinking about something that I really did not want to have to think about. But I couldn’t see any way around it: I was going to have to bite the bullet and do it. Now the only problem was to decide how.

“Bella, Bells, honey, are you awake?” Charlie was quiet, as if he half hoped I was still asleep so he didn’t have to worry about talking to me.

Talking to me was a problem for him. He knew I was lying, or at least not telling the whole truth, but he couldn’t shake my story.

But how could I tell him that my injuries were caused by a vengeance seeking vampire? How could I tell him that I was saved by giant werewolves that protected the humans from vampires? I couldn’t. So all I could tell him was some half baked story, using confusion to cover the gaps.

“Hey, Dad. Did Mom get home okay?”

“Yes. She said she’ll E-mail you tomorrow. Erm, Bells?”

I knew he was going to let me know that he knew I was lying. “Yes Dad?”

“Renee agrees with me. We know you’re hiding something. Tell me the truth. Who did this to you?”

How could I? “Dad, I’ve told you all I can, I promise.”

I looked to see how he would take that. Perhaps that truth was shining through. I had told him all I could.

“Okay, Bells, I believe you, but I do think there is something more. Perhaps when you’re better you’ll be able to tell me.”

The story I had told my dad, the Chief of Police, was that I couldn’t remember everything, but I distinctly heard a woman saying that it was to teach the Cullens a lesson and that I got the impression that she blamed Dr Cullen for the death of her husband and wanted to make him suffer. I tried to stress that it was only an impression, a feeling that I had because I couldn’t remember her words. 

“She had bright red hair!” I announced as if it was something that had just come back to me. “Long, bright red hair!”

“Well done, baby. Perhaps more will come back to you over time. The Doc says that it’s not unusual for people to bury their memories of traumatic experiences. I’ll go and add that to the file, get the lads to ask about strangers in the area with long red hair. You rest.”

I could tell that Charlie was grateful for the opportunity to leave and have something concrete to do.

“Jake, can you arrange for me to talk to you and Sam together, please? I’m going to need a favour and it will need both of you to agree” I dreaded their response to my request, but I couldn’t think of a better way around it.

“Sure, Bells. You know we’ll do anything we can for you.”

I didn’t like to say that I was sure that he was not going to be so easy going when he heard what I was going to ask.

I was right.

“You have got to be kidding us! You cannot seriously expect us to agree with this stupid, asinine plan you have to warn the Cullens?” Jacob didn’t disappoint me.

“He’s right Bella” Sam was more measured. “Why would you want to after everything they did to you?”

“Jake, Sam, it is not their fault that Victoria is after me. Unless you think that they should have let James kill me last year?” I had to try to readjust their thinking.

“Of course not Bells. But if it wasn’t for them this James wouldn’t have been anywhere near you” Jake tried to argue with me.

Poor Jake. Although I had given a good impression of being stupid, I was actually quite intelligent having been in many advanced classes when I attended a school large enough to have them.

“Jake, I was at risk from vampires as soon as I moved to a cloudy part of the country where they wander away from the glare of the sun. My blood is apparently very potent to them. Even in a crowd of humans my blood stands out. The Cullens can resist because they’re vegetarian, but the others, who aren’t, well to them I’m just a tasty snack waiting to be consumed. James had recently fed when he caught a whiff of me and if ... He hadn’t stopped him I would have been dead that second. If the Cullens hadn’t come to Phoenix to protect me from James, I would have been killed. If ... He hadn’t sucked the venom from my blood I would have become one of them.”

I didn’t say that to me the latter point was not something that I feel grateful for. I just knew that the pack felt it was something that I should be glad about.

“I owe them, Sam. I need to warn them.”

Sam and Jake looked at each other. Neither wanted to do what I was asking, but neither could think of a good enough reason not to. Their usual prejudiced rant about them just being blood suckers and deserving everything that comes to them wouldn’t wash with me since they knew I felt differently.

“And that’s all you want to do? Find them, speak to ... it and leave?” Sam wanted me sure.

“Yes, Sam” I confirmed.

“And if I say no?” Jake rolled his eyes at Sam’s question: he knew my reply.

“Then I wait until I’m fit to drive and go off by myself and look for them” I confirmed Jake’s thoughts.

“I’m not happy for it to be just Jake. I’ll ask Embry and Seth if they’ll go with you, too. I won’t order them, mind, it has to be a purely voluntary basis” Sam decided.


	2. Alice - What the ...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob and some of the pack help Bella carry out her plan, but they get some bad news.

Jazz and I were sitting chatting to Tanya and the rest of her family when all of a sudden our futures just disappeared.

“What? What is it Alice?” Jasper asked. He could feel the fear from me.

“Our futures, they’ve gone!” 

“What do you mean? How can our futures just go?” Tanya asked.

“I see nothing for any of us beyond the next one minute and ten seconds. The others, they still have one, it’s just us here!” I was panicking and it was catching.

Everyone got up and went outside on their guard.

There we saw them: three massive wolves walking towards us, slowly, ill at ease but definitely coming towards us.

Jazz and Tanya were the first to get into their hunting crouches. Eleazar, Carmen, Kate and Irina followed suit. I watched the wolves. They didn’t look like they were intending to attack, but there was definitely something odd about them. Then I saw it.

“Stop! There’s no danger!” I said with a smile. “It’s Bella, look!”

Bella was sitting on top of the biggest wolf, riding him. I skipped towards them.

“Wait Alice” Jazz pulled me back. At least he was no longer in his hunting crouch. “I feel no intent to attack, but there is a lot of hostility, and it’s not all coming from the wolves: Bella feels it too.”

That pulled me up short. Of course Bella would feel hostile towards us. We left her. I looked at her face, properly this time: it shocked me. It had been less than a year since we left, but Bella looked like she had suffered and aged greatly in that time.

“So that’s the Bella that we’ve heard so much about” Tanya mused. “I wonder what happened to her legs.”

I hadn’t noticed, but both her legs were in plaster. The procession of the three wolves stopped a twenty yards from us.

“I need to speak to Carlisle” Bella said with no small talk. “If he is not here can you call him on the ‘phone for me to talk to, please?”

“Bella, why do you need to speak to him?” Jasper asked loudly.

“Just get him on the ‘phone or whatever and you will find out. The sooner you do that the sooner we can get out of here” Bella was not being friendly.

I wanted to speak to my friend, my best friend. “Bella, how are you? What happened? Bella?” I was shocked at the look of hatred that was sent my way.

“If Carlisle is unreachable we can leave and return later” Bella was not budging from her agenda.

“I’ll call him” I said as I got out my cell ‘phone. 

Carlisle answered on the second ring. “Yes Alice?”

“Bella’s here and she wants to speak to you. She’s with three wolves and she hates me!” I wailed.

“Why ...? Never mind. Pass the ‘phone to her.”

Jazz could hear the conversation, as could the rest of the vampires.

“You’re not going up to those wolves by yourself” Jasper said quietly. “And if we all walk towards them it could appear to be threatening.” He raised his voice “Alice and I will walk towards you, the one with Bella should meet us half way.” 

Jazz was so clever. Bella would know that we would not harm her.

“It’s okay guys. You two wait here” Bella’s voice carried to us. “We’ll get this done then we can head off home.” There was some movement from the wolves that Bella understood “Okay, we’ll head into town and get something to eat and then we can head off home. This won’t take long.” Bella obviously did not intend to hang around and socialise.

Jasper and I met Bella and the wolf. Jasper stayed alert. I was trying to convey my sorrow at the way we parted to Bella with my eyes. After one brief glance, Bella looked away from me and towards Jasper.

“It wasn’t your fault, Jasper. The reason it is so much harder for you than the others is because you have all their feelings as well as your own to combat. Even I can imagine the blood lust that everyone was feeling at that particular moment.”

That was so Bella. She made it clear that she understood everything Jazz was feeling. She knew, she accepted, and she wanted to make him feel better about himself.

“Bella, I, you, thank you.” Jasper was unusually uncertain.

I went to put the ‘phone into Bella’s hand. There was no point in trying to throw it to her, she would never catch it. Then I noticed her hand “What the ...? Bella, what happened to your hand?” I asked.

My only reply was another filthy look as Bella took the ‘phone and awkwardly held it to her ear.

“Carlisle, it’s Bella. I wanted to warn you about Victoria.”

Jasper and I both hissed.

“What about her?” Carlisle’s voice turned ominous.

“As soon as she has finished torturing me to death, she intends to come after one of you.”

The injuries, the hatred, they all made sense.

“Please explain” Carlisle pressed.

“Since the Cullens had abandoned their little human pet” I winced “my slow and painful death would not be sufficient punishment to you for the death of her mate. She plans to kill one of you so you will all feel the loss and one of you will feel the pain she feels at the loss of her mate. Now you know. Goodbye.” Bella threw the ‘phone back to me.

“Bella, please, talk to me” I begged. “Please tell us what happened to you, please.”

“Okay, I’ll tell you. It was Monday morning at school. The talk was all about the fact that Eric, Tyler and Connor had not returned from their camping trip. Of course I knew why, but I couldn’t say. I was crossing the path to go to English when I was grabbed, quickly. Within a few seconds I was at the boys’ campsite. Eric and Tyler were dead. Connor was alive but only just. His arms and legs had been broken so he couldn’t escape. I was tied to a tree. I begged Victoria to let Connor go but she wouldn’t. She wanted to make sure that she didn’t lose control and finish me quickly when she wanted me to suffer so I had to listen as she fed off of him. Do you remember Eric, Tyler and Connor, Alice? Three idiotic boys killed so that I could be tortured.”

Bella hadn’t noticed but everyone was getting closer to listen to the conversation. Carlisle could still hear, I could hear his hiss from the ‘phone. But Bella noticed nothing as she stared at me, wanting me to know the pain she had felt. I nodded.

“She didn’t gag any of us. She said she liked to hear the screams. Very calmly she broke my shin bones so I couldn’t escape and she untied me. The next part of her torture was to tell me every part of her plan and why. At first she thought that my death would be a fitting punishment: His mate for her mate, but clearly I was nothing more than a pet you all got tired of because no vampire could ever abandon a mate to certain death the way ... He abandoned me. So my death was purely to punish me and for her pleasure and one of you would lose your mate to punish the Cullens.”

By then Jazz had fallen to the ground. Everyone’s despair would have too much a burden for him to bear.

“She started to break the bones in my fingers, but when she got to the little finger, she snapped it clean off. She may have been able to resist my blood due to her feeding off three of my school mates, but I couldn’t, I passed out. The pack found me and brought me home. She escaped. I do not know if she will wait until she has killed me before making for one of you, but that is not my problem. You should do what you need to protect yourselves. I’ve done what I intended, come on guys, let’s go.” 

The wolves backed away. We stared at them, wanting to say something. I could feel everyone’s desire to stop them, to talk.

“Wait” it was Tanya, “you said something about food. Please, we have food, let us give you a meal. Please, it is the least we can do.”

The wolves snorted and Bella looked at Tanya incredulously. “The wolves would sooner starve than eat vampire food and I would sooner be with my friends than you.”

And in a split second the atmosphere changed. I’m not an empath like Jazz, but I felt it clearly. The wolves went from snorting at Bella’s response to uneasy whining.

“What is it? Guys, you’re scaring me.” The whining continued, their tails were swishing and even the big one carrying Bella jerked a little, clearly upset. “Jake, please, I need to know what’s happened. Please phase and tell me what it is. Seth, Embry, get me down so Jake can phase. Please, guys” Bella begged.

There was a couple of seconds then the two wolves went right up to Bella and she held her arms out.

“No!” I shouted once I realised what they intended to do. “No, I can see you’re upset, it won’t be so easy to maintain control. Please, let me and Jasper get Bella down. We’ll get her down, put her on a chair and back away, I promise.”

And just like that a comfortable looking chair with a foot rest was in front of the giant wolf. Two seconds later the other wolves backed away a little so Jazz and I could gently lift Bella from the back of her friend and seat her in the chair. We kept our word and backed away.

“Oh my, what a shame about the stink” Tanya said behind me. I looked to see what she meant.

The large wolf that Bella had called Jake was now a massive naked Native American. Even though I was totally in love with Jasper, I could still appreciate the masculine beauty of the man. Tanya was known to prefer her men to be soft and warm, but humans just did not have the required stamina which was why she often took vampire lovers as well as human. I bet Jake had plenty of stamina!

Jake walked to Bella and knelt in front of her. He carefully took her hands in one of his massive ones and used the other to gently stroke her frightened face. There was love and affection in the gesture. And pain in his eyes.

“I’m sorry Bells, I am so sorry.”

“It’s Charlie, isn’t it?” Bella whispered.

“Yeah. He’s still alive but she got him. The rest chased her away but had to break off the hunt to look after Charlie. It’s not good, so we need to get you back now. But he is still alive, so that means there is still hope, you got that Bells? Charlie is still alive.”

Jazz was talking to Tanya and Carlisle who was still on the ‘phone. I was paying no attention to them. I watched as Bella withdrew her hands from the wolf’s and leant forward to wrap her arms around his neck, resting her head upon his shoulder. It was a gesture of complete and utter trust. Something that she used to feel for me.


	3. Jake - You're Kidding Me, Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something very strange and, from Jacob's perspective, very disturbing happens to Embry.
> 
> Bella receives a devastating blow.

I held Bella in my arms as she sobbed for her father. I had no idea how she was still sane with all that she had suffered over the past months.

“I am so sorry Bella, but we need to go” I said to her as I tried to lift her arms from around my neck.

“Don’t go, wait” one of the vamps said. “We’re arranging for a plane to fly you from Juneau to Port Angeles. It will be much quicker than running or driving.”

“We don’t need your charity” I growled.

“No, but don’t you want Bella to get back to Forks as quickly as possible?” the annoying vamp knew my weak spot.

“What about the truck? I can’t leave it here.” I fought the inevitable.

“Alice and I will drive it back and leave it at Bella’s for you” he was reasonable.  
In the circumstances I thought a bit vampy stink was probably a small price to pay.

“You will need to get dressed, though, and your friends will need to change, too. I’ll drive you to the airport when it is all arranged.” God I really hated that he was so sensible.

“Okay, Seth, Embry, go and change and bring me a full set of clothes, our valuables and Bella’s chair” I ordered.

Embry and Seth trotted off leaving me and Bella alone with ... bloody hell, seven vampires. Two of the three blonde females were looking at me with distaste, the other with a decidedly predatory look in her eye, and I was sure she was not interested in eating me. It reminded me that I was starkers. Oh well, I doubted that I had anything that any of them hadn’t seen before.

The olive toned couple were inspecting me with interest, as if I was a specimen under their microscope, they were easy to ignore. The other couple were not.

The blonde male looked as if he wanted to strike, not to feed from me, but to keep me away from Bella. I understood it to a certain extent, I could turn into a giant wolf at a moment’s notice after all and he did look like he could take me, so I thought it best to make no sudden moves. But it was the little dark haired female, pixie like she was, that held my interest the most: she looked devastated. I had never thought of a vampire as being able to look devastated, but she did.

“Here, please this is some sweetened hot chocolate” the olive tone female said. “This might help with the shock” and she put the cup besides me a backed away.

I picked up the drink, there was stiff a whiff of leech on the cup but I knew that Bella wouldn’t be able to smell it, and handed it to her.

“Come on Sweetheart, take a drink. You need sugar in your system.”

Bella looked up at me and I almost drowned in the pools of pain that were her beautiful brown eyes. Oh how I wished I could have imprinted on her. As much as I loved her, if I ever did imprint on someone I would leave Bella in a heartbeat. I knew it, Bella knew it and she could not live with that uncertainty so she left me. At least, she thought, this way we can remain friends. But it was so damned hard.

Seth and Embry ran up to us. Seth carried our essentials and my clothes while Embry carried Bella’s wheelchair. I took the clothes from Seth and tried to hunker down behind the arm chair to get dressed.

“Here, it’s not much, but please take this food. You won’t have time to get anything else” the blonde vamp who had eyed me up said as she held a huge plate in front of us. “Kate is making more for you take and eat on the plane. We’ve asked for it to be stocked with a variety of cold drinks but we couldn’t arrange for food at such short notice. I’m Tanya and you are?”

I looked at the vamp, and the word struck as incredibly apt. I thanked her for the food and reluctantly made the introductions.

I tried to get Bella to eat something, but I knew it was going to be a losing battle. At least she drank her hot chocolate.

Seth passed the truck keys to the blonde male “I guess you’ll be able to find it by following our trail” he said as if it was the most natural thing in the world to acknowledge.

“Yes, we will, thank you” the blonde was polite.

“No worries. It’s good of you to do this. Bella will be much more comfortable flying than spending two days in a truck and having to rely on Jake to help her to the bathroom.”

“Oh, no, she would hate that!” the little black haired female said. “How is she managing to have showers? It was bad enough after Phoenix and she only had one broken leg then.”

“Oh, erm, I think some of the women from the rez go in and help her with that” Seth was uncomfortable with that level of information.

The blonde male held the ‘phone to me. “Carlisle wants to talk to you. Would you mind?”

‘Would I mind?’ Of course I bloody minded, but, what the hell? I took the ‘phone. “Yes?”

“Are you the pack leader?” I was asked.

“No, Sam Uley is Alpha, I’m second in command. Why?”

“We’re returning to Forks until this situation with Victoria is sorted out. I need to talk to someone about how best to make sure that Bella is safe and to co-ordinate our efforts.”

I was fuming. “We don’t need you there to do anything!”

“Then why are three school boys dead and Bella and Charlie so injured?” and the bastard had me. “Take this ‘phone, it has my number in it and I will be able to call you, or whoever you hand it to. We’ll start arriving tomorrow.”

I knew Bella could hear my end of the conversation and I knew I was about to hurt her.   
“Just make sure that Edward stays well away from Bella!” and I saw the flinch and the arm wrap around her chest as she tried to hold herself together. I lifted a hand to stroke her head as a show of regret for inflicting that on her.

“I will inform him of your request. Could you let Sam know that I will call him tomorrow, please?”

“Whatever” I was rude as I hung up. I looked at Bells. She was starting to squirm a little. I knew what that meant “Bathroom?” I asked.

“Please. They should have one I could use.”

So I lifted up the precious burden and headed for the house. “One of you direct me to a bathroom” I was still rude.

“You don’t need to do that” the little pixie said. “Let me help you Bella” and she moved as if to take Bella from my arms.

“No!” Bella tightened her grip on me. “Jake will help me” and I smirked at the pixie, enjoying the hurt look on her face.

“Through the front door, first door on the right” I was told.

While Bella sat on their commode I peed in their sink. I thought about just leaving it, just to piss them off, ha ha, but Bella would want to wash her hands and expect me to wash mine despite the fact that my wolfiness killed all germs so I rinsed it out.

As I carried Bella back outside I looked at the guys. Seth was looking at Embry, then at Tanya and then back to Embry again as if he were watching a tennis match. I looked at Embry. He was staring at Tanya with a ... oh no. 

“Embry, you didn’t? You have got to be kidding me!” That got everyone else’s attention.  
Bella looked, really looked at Embry and laughed. It was the sweetest sound I had heard in a long time.

“Sorry, Jake. Nothing I could do about it” Embry was sheepish.

“I know mate, I know. But bloody hell! Sam is going to freak!” And Sam wasn’t the only one. A vampire would have free access to the Reservation. At least the vamp was no longer vamping me, all her attention was on Embry.

“Look, can we get this show on the road. Bella needs to see Charlie?” I said.

“I am coming with you” Tanya the vamp said to no one’s surprise. “Just give me a minute to pack a bag” and with one more sultry look at Embry she disappeared.

“Can I be there when you tell Sam?” Bella asked. I knew she was trying to not think about Charlie.

“I am not going to tell him and I am not going to be anywhere near him when Embry does” because I knew who would be blamed: me!

Tanya came out carrying a large case. “I’ll drive to the airport. I won’t talk in the car because the scent in the confined space might be a little overpowering for me so I’ll just hold my breath” she said as she gazed at Embry. “You can sit next to me in the front; I’ll only need one hand for driving. You won’t need any.”

Embry continued to gaze at Tanya adoringly. Seth and I gagged. Bella just raised a brow and all the other vamps snickered. They clearly knew Tanya well.

Luckily it was a spacious car. I sat in the back with Bella in my lap so that her legs could spread out to lie across Seth’s thighs. Much to all our disgusts, Tanya’s and Embry’s hands did cross the console. We three at the back closed our eyes and started to hum as loud as we could. I could still hear the pair of them and I dreaded the replay next time Embry phased.

The plane that had been chartered for us had just six passenger seats, and a bedroom, thankfully. As soon as we were in the air Embry and Tanya went to the bedroom. They were both totally shameless.

Seth, Bella and I looked at each other not knowing what to say. Long minutes passed. There was no disguising the sounds coming from the bedroom. It was way beyond embarrassing. 

“Could I have something to eat and drink, please?” Bella broke the silence.

Seth got up to get the supplies. The taste of vampire was in the food, but being werewolves, we were, as always, starving. Bella didn’t seem to notice. At least the sodas were vampire free.

“It was good of them to arrange this” Seth said.

“Yes, they’re always very generous” Bella replied. “I had a constant battle getting them to not spend money on me.”

“It’s easy to be generous when you have more money than God” I snorted. But Seth was right, they didn’t have to arrange this flight, or the food.

“You know what Embry has made me think?” Bella started, very tentative, as if she knew that I was not going to like where she was going with the conversation.

“Go on” I wanted to get it over with.

“I think you need to reconsider why you imprint. Tanya cannot strengthen your gene pool. She brings powerful allies, but no working uterus. Perhaps you two need to expand your searches for your imprint. What else could possibly be useful to a pack of giant wolves?”

“You’re kidding me, right Bells?” but I knew she wasn’t. “All this is telling me is to make darned sure I never look into the eyes of a leech, no matter what the provocation.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always hated the way imprinting was sometimes hypothesised as being a way to make better cubs so I wanted to do what i can to stick that theory where the sun don't shine!
> 
> And so sorry about the peeing in the sink but I could so picture it; couldn't you?


	4. Bella - I Really Don't Want to do This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella gets to learn more about what happened to Charlie and receives some unexpected visitors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hated how Bella just forgave everyone for everything in the books so in this story Bella actually uses her brain to spot the holes in their reasoning!

I was very pleased at how I handled myself in Denali. I was cool - almost, calm – nearly and collected – sort of. I said what I needed to say and made sure that they knew that I was not looking for false friendship from them again. I was proud of myself.

The only thing I was not proud of was how I fell to pieces when Jake told me about Charlie. That would not help anyone. I had to be strong for him. He would expect it. I wondered if anyone had told Renee. Since technically I was Charlie’s only kin, they probably hadn’t. It was a task I was not looking forward to. I decided to wait until I knew what his prognosis was before calling her.

Jake wasn’t happy with me. He did not want to think about the implications of Embry’s imprint, but he would have to: they all would. The potential ramifications were huge.  
From what I remembered, and just observed, about Tanya, she needed a mate who was content to spend much of their time in bed. I guess like all young men Embry would have that one covered. 

But Embry had no money and I didn’t think that Tanya would give him the opportunity to make much himself so he would have to be content to live off her income. Embry’s needs were pretty basic, food – lots of it, and clothes. He didn’t care about anything else much so he was not going to be expensive to keep. And given that vegetarian vampires always bought food as part of the fiction and usually threw it out, that element was not going to be an added cost for the Denalis. 

No, Embry would go through life thinking he was the luckiest guy in the world. It was everyone else who would be unhappy about the match.

Embry and Tanya didn’t leave the bedroom until after the captain announced that we would soon be landing in Port Angeles. Embry had a goofy grin on his face while Tanya looked smug. Neither showed a hint of embarrassment as they took their seats for landing.

A police car was waiting to take me to Forks hospital. It was Charlie’s deputy, Mark.

“I am so sorry about your dad, Bella. I thought doing this would get you to the hospital quicker. I’m afraid I can’t take all of you” he finished looking at the others a little worried.

“No problems” Tanya said. “You just take Bella and Jake and we’ll make our own way there. See you soon Bella. I do hope Charlie pulls through. Come on guys, let’s race them” and Tanya pulled both Embry and Seth away.

Jake tried to hold me in the back of the cruiser. It was a very tight squeeze so he just placed me along the seat and sat in the front. With the lights flashing and sirens blaring we sped towards Forks and my dad. But I knew that the others would get there first.

I was right. As Jake lifted me out of the seat, instructing the Deputy to bring my chair, I caught a glimpse of Seth in the background. I nodded an acknowledgment to him.   
Jake ran with me in his arms up to the wards. I knew it was bad news as soon as I saw Sam shake his head.

“I need to see him” I said. There was strength in my voice.

“Bella, you don’t ...”

“I need to see him” I interrupted Sam. “I need to say goodbye, and tell him that I love him. And Sam, thanks for trying to save him. I would have understood if you had carried on with the hunt - big picture and all that.”

“Bella, I, we wouldn’t, couldn’t have left him. He’s this way. Come on.”

Charlie looked peaceful, but not there.

“I love you dad. Despite everything that’s happened, moving here was the best thing I could have done for me. Not so good for everyone else, but for me, I’m so glad I came and we got to spend all this time together. You’re a really great dad and I’m going to miss you so much. Be happy wherever you are. Talk fishing and sports with Harry and if you can, a little help would be good. ‘Bye dad, I love you.”

The ‘phone call to mom was as bad as I feared. She was in tears and begging me to move back with her and Phil. But I couldn’t. Living with Charlie had allowed me to have almost total independence I wouldn’t be able to adjust to the tight knit living that Renee would need. Also, unlike Phoenix and probably everywhere else in the country, I had made friends in Forks. I did not want to leave them. I fit in here.

Jake moved into Charlie’s house temporarily. He insisted on sleeping on the living room floor. Charlie’s bedroom could not be altered until after he had been laid to rest.  
I was glad to have him around. He took his nursing duties seriously and I was glad to be able to be in my own home.

Rosalie and Emmet called to see me. They were the first Cullens to arrive. 

Emmet bounded up to me saying “I missed you so much little sis” but was brought up short by the look on my face.

“Emmet, Rosalie, good of you to come. Do you know Jake? Jake has been looking after me.”

“Bells, I can’t stay here with them. Do you mind if I go and see my dad while they’re here?” Jake asked, and I could see he was right. He did not like seeing them in my home and was fighting to keep from phasing; and technically, according to the treaty it was their territory.

“It’s okay Jake. You go and give my love to Billy. I’ll call you later” and with a quick kiss on the cheek Jake was gone.

“Yeah, Carlisle and Jasper filled us in” Emmet said, clearly unsure at how to go on. But Emmet is Emmet and I knew he wouldn’t remain speechless for long.

“How are you Bella?” from Rosalie.

“I’m good thank you” I replied politely.

“Crap, Bella” Emmet got his voice back. “You’re far from good. You look like hell and from what we’ve heard, you’ve been living there.”

“What did you expect to happen once you left?” I was curious.

“Not this for crying out loud!” Emmet was irate. “You were supposed to be safer with us gone. Why the hell do you think we left?”

“Well ... He said that you had to leave because people were starting to notice that you weren’t aging, and what happened on my birthday just brought it forward a little. How could anyone think you leaving would make me, a danger magnet with a vengeance seeking homicidal vampire after her, safer?” I really was puzzled.

“So Jasper wouldn’t take anymore snaps at you, so Edward” and I flinched at the name, I’m sure they noticed, “wouldn’t be overcome by the scent of your blood and bite you or accidently hurt you when he lost control of his strength and so that bloody bitching Victoria would come after us and leave you alone” Emmet yelled.

“We weren’t planning on leaving for another year or two” Rosalie added. “Edward” and I flinched again, “said we should all leave so that your life would be as if we had never met.”

I couldn’t help it, I laughed. How could my life ever be as if I had never met the Cullens? It was so funny.

Part of me was aware that I had become hysterical. Part of me was even watching as Emmet and Rosalie looked at each other wondering what to do with the pathetic human. But I couldn’t do anything to stop it.

Rosalie took charge. She held my chin in one hand and gave my cheek a slap with the other.

“Rose!” Emmet was appalled.

“It’s okay” I said, “Rosalie was right. Thank you, I guess it really was not that funny.”

“Why would you think it funny at all?” Rosalie asked.

“Imagine that Emmet suddenly said that he didn’t want you anymore and then he took most of your family with him, leaving you with just Jasper. Would your life be able to go on as if you had never met him? I can’t believe anyone, let alone supposedly intelligent vampires, would think it was even a remote possibility.”

“Sorry, Bella, I guess you’re right. We just wanted it to be the truth” Rosalie said.

“I know; that way you didn’t have to worry about me at all. No guilty conscience about the pet you discarded.”

“You’re not a pet!” Emmet roared. “Edward” and once again I flinched, “okay, Smart Alec said that it would be best for you if ...”

I had to interrupt. “There are seven of you. He is only one. If you had wanted to, you could have out voted him. The only conclusion that I can come to is that you didn’t because you all wanted to do what he wanted you to do on some level or another.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So very sad about Charlie but I'm afraid I thought of him more as a plot device rather than a main character - apologies to those who love the man.


	5. Carlisle - A Debt To Be Paid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlisle tries to let Bella know that he knows he owes her for the way the family left her after her birthday, not that Bella appreciates it.

Esme and I listened to Rosalie’s report of her and Emmet’s conversation with Bella. I didn’t know what to say, what to think.

“Do you think she’s right?” Esme asked. “Did we, deep down, want to leave her?”

I sighed. “Yes” I had to be honest. “But not for the reasons Bella obviously thinks. Remember how Alice saw Bella either changing to one of us or being dead. None of us want that for her. We wanted to leave her so that neither of those options would occur. We wanted her to stay the healthy human Bella of our hearts.”

“What are we going to do about Edward? If she flinches every time his name is mentioned how would she cope if he was there?”

“I think we have to tell him. He needs to know what he has done. Also, his mind reading will be useful. We’ll just have to ask him not to speak to Bella or to seek her out in any way.” I only hoped he would do that.

“It was very brave of her to give us the warning. She could have just ignored Victoria’s words and worried only about protecting herself.”

“But that’s the Bella we know and love. She wouldn’t worry about just herself when someone else is in danger. Bella has never considered us as less worthy than any human so that point is not a surprise. Now the wolves, they are a big surprise, for there to be so many and I thought that they had died out. I wonder how Bella found out about them” I mused, hoping that one day I would be able to talk to Bella, hold a proper conversation with her, not like that terse exchange over the ‘phone.

Three days later we arrived in Forks. Everyone was there to greet us except for Tanya.

“She’s out with her pet dog” Edward said in answer to my silent question as I copied Bella and flinched at the use of the word ‘pet’ knowing how it had been used to hurt Bella.

“Sorry, I won’t use it again” Edward said. “And no I haven’t been to see her” he said in reply to my next question about whether he had tried to see Bella.

“None of us have been able to see her since Emmet and Rosalie” Alice said. “If we call she hangs up on us. At least she’ll say ‘I don’t want to talk’ to Emmet and Rose, she just hangs up on me. I went to Charlie’s funeral and she wouldn’t even look at me!”

I sighed again. I was doing a lot of sighing lately. “Alice, you can’t really expect it to be any different. That’s not your fault, it’s all of ours, but you have to accept it. In Bella’s eyes you and Edward carried out the biggest betrayal so you have to pay the highest price. Tonight” I changed the subject, “all of us will meet in the clearing. We need to know how feasible it will be for us all to work together before we make detailed plans. Alice, Edward, have you re-enrolled in high school?”

“Yes and we’ve made sure that at least one of us is in the same class as Bella for every lesson, although she has been excused gym for the rest of the year and will work in the library for that period so we needed to find a way around that problem. But we’ve managed.”

Tanya had returned before we set off for the clearing. She looked remarkably happy. I was pleased for her. I was surprised that it was with one of the Quilleute wolves, but still, it was nice to see her so happy; and not pestering poor Edward. (The latter thought earned me a raised brow from Edward.)

We were the first to arrive at the clearing.

“They will arrive in forty-four seconds” Alice declared. “That’s when our futures disappear again” she complained.

“They’ve all come as wolves” Edward said. “I’ll have to translate their thoughts.”

I was just pleased that they had arrived.

“Oh my” Esme said as we saw eight wolves entering the clearing, one of whom carried Bella.

‘Leave it Edward’ I thought loudly, knowing that he would have said something about the danger to Bella being so close to the wolves. ‘She is clearly used to travelling in that manner and you have no right to comment.’

I didn’t need to read minds to know what he was thinking. Edward’s face made it more than clear.

Tanya skipped over to one of the wolves – presumably Embry - and started to stroke him.

“Tanya, Sam would appreciate it if you would not distract Embry at this time” Edward said.

I watched Bella flinch and pull into herself as Edward spoke. I had no doubt that everyone else on this side would have seen too. Edward bore a hard look of pain at the movement.

“Okay, I’ll stand with you for now” and Tanya moved to join our ranks.

“I thank you for coming to speak with us” I looked at the biggest wolf, the Alpha. “Our sole concern is to help protect Bella and the other townsfolk from Victoria. We will do whatever we can to that end.”

“And when she is taken care of, will you leave again?” Edward asked on behalf of Sam.

I really didn’t want to answer that one, but I knew I had to. “Yes.”

I saw Bella’s reaction, the wolf carrying her must have felt it because all the wolves began to fidget and whine. Edward looked tortured.

Then there was a change in the wolves’ demeanour. “Tanya, can you go and help Bella, please? She has an I-pod in her pocket. Hold her steady while she uses it.”

And Tanya skipped through the wolves showing no concern and stood beside Bella. The wolf carrying her hunched down slightly so that Tanya could hold Bella as suggested. It wasn’t music Bella was listening to. It was a book, and not one of the classics that Edward said she loved to read – surprising.

“Can you tell us anything that we don’t already know?” I asked.

“I’m sure I can tell you lots, but I don’t think now is the best time” Edward said for Sam again. “Perhaps a smaller meeting, me Jake and Bella with you and one other, just not ... me. We’ll come as men to talk and agree. I’m sure Bella would have no objections to it being at her house. Everyone else to stay well away.”

No one liked that last point but I could see the logic and agreed.

The next day, Alice and Edward started school again. Esme said that they had been home schooled while we were in LA so much of the missed work would already have been done. She asked for Edward and Alice to be given a list of all the assignments that they had missed and where they had been completed at home they would be handed in by the end of the week. Any others would be done by the end of the month. It gave them something to concentrate on other than the mess we had made of Bella’s life. And how hard it was going to be when Bella was back at school.

Tanya suggested she join me at Bella’s house.

“They can’t touch me” Tanya said. “Embry imprinted on me so that makes me untouchable to the wolves unless I harm another wolf’s imprint, in which case that wolf can kill me and Embry would fight them to the death. Isn’t it a good job that I have no intention of harming anyone?”

“Imprinted? Does that mean it’s not a fling?” Emmet asked.

“It could be for me, but when I want to go back to him, he will take me. Embry will do, be whatever I need of him. In any case, I am certainly not bored with him yet!”

“Oh good grief. I thought Edward and a human was bad enough, but a dog?” Rosalie was disgusted.

“You know I like men warm and soft, and this one can go all night. And I have to say it’s nice to be with someone who instinctively knows how to please me” Tanya reminisced.

“But the stench?” Rose wasn’t giving up.

“You get used to it. At least it means I’m not tempted to bite. I have no idea how you managed, Edward.”

“By keeping a very tight control over what we did” he replied grimly.

“Bella, since the whole purpose of this meeting is to agree how best to protect you, why don’t you tell us what you want?” Sam started as soon as we were in the room.

“No, first I need to do something” I said. I put my left little finger in my mouth and, ignoring the pain, bit it off. “Bella, I’m sorry. I owe you a very large debt. A debt too great to ever be repaid. I want you take this and burn it” I handed over my finger.

“No! I don’t want this! Take it back. It’s no use to me” Bella was clearly appalled.

“It is a token. A token to show that I really am sorry for what happened in September. I am sorry that I allowed myself to be talked into doing something that I knew was wrong. Sorry that I let you, my newest daughter, down. Take it and burn it and know that I will always carry the scar of my own arrogance in thinking that the son I had raised for ninety years had to know more than the daughter who had a mere eighteen years of being raised by someone else.”

Bella looked at me. The pain in her eyes was awful to behold. “I don’t want it, Carlisle. I appreciate the gesture but it will do nothing for me except add more guilt to my load. Please, don’t do that to me. Take it and put it back, please.”

I could see that she meant it. I would only make her feel guilty and for whatever reason Bella felt that she carried enough guilt. I nodded and held my finger in place as it reattached.

When it was done Bella was her usual considerate self and said “I need to know what you will do, first. I don’t want to ask anyone to do something that they will find too difficult, for whatever reason”.

“We can’t mix on a regular basis, but other than that we should be fine, for handovers, you know?” Sam replied.

“Yeah, I know. It’s like Renee and Charlie all over again” and this time she was sad.

“Might I make a suggestion?” Tanya asked.

Everyone nodded their agreement.

“Bella, you’re back at school on Monday, right?” Bella nodded. “Well, Monday morning you get taken to school. After school you go back to the Cullens with Alice and Edward and stay with them until Friday. One, or two of the pack, or I collect you from school on Friday and you have the pack protect you over the weekend, either here or on the Reservation, and take you to school on Monday morning. That way the protection duty is shared.”

“Until then?” Bella asked.

“I stay here while Embry is in school, yes, I do want him to complete his education, and Jake comes back to sleep on the floor after he’s spent a little time with Billy. Although I do suggest you allow me to help with Charlie’s room, Bella, since I will be here anyway. It’s not fair to keep on expecting him to lie on the floor when there should be a bed upstairs.”

We all looked at Bella. This one would be her decision.

“Jake, Billy needs you. You shouldn’t be spending your time here with me. Share the nights out amongst the pack, spread the load.”

“Bella, are you telling me you will be happy to have Paul help you to the bathroom?” Jake was incredulous.

“Ugh, no, you’re right” and I wondered why Bella was happy for Jake to do that. “Perhaps I could come and stay on your couch again?”

“Why don’t you stay with Emily?” Sam suggested. “Emily could always help you and I or one or two of the others will always be there.”

“Okay, thanks Sam. I’ll do that. Tanya, do you mind staying here with me and driving me back and forth from Emily’s?”

“Not at all. I’ve often thought that I should like to know you. Now I will without any of the old jealousy I used to have over you.”

I cringed a little at what Tanya was hinting at. Bella wasn’t stupid, she would work it out. She worked out most of our secrets easily enough.


	6. Tanya - Who'd Have Thought?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tanya realises that there is more to Bella than meets the eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this particularly difficult time I'm struggling to write my upbeat stories, but I will persevere with them. This one is pre-written to the final chapter so I can still post. I know it isn't a very happy story, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

I carried Bella upstairs to help her pack and to go to the bathroom. I don’t know how she managed with Big Boy Jake helping her: the house was poky. 

“You know what Carlisle did with his finger was incredibly painful for him, don’t you?” I pointed out. I wanted to see how she reacted.

“No, I didn’t. But it doesn’t make any difference. It wouldn’t get me my finger back, nor mend the rest of my hand. It might have been a well meant gesture, but it was one that would not benefit me, or anyone else, in any way so was a completely pointless exercise.”

“I think it might have made Carlisle feel a little better for the way he allowed the family to leave you last year” I suggested.

“Then it would have been for his benefit, not mine. Listen, I don’t blame them for leaving, not really: I never did” Bella said.

Now that was a shock. “So why do you hate them?”

“For making me love them before they left. I thought Alice was my best friend, but a friend of any sort, let alone a best friend, would not have been able to just leave the way she did. I thought ... He was the love of my life, he said I was the love of his existence, but he could stand and crush me with his words leaving me empty. If they had left me alone to start off with, instead of making me believe that they were my family, it wouldn’t have mattered so much when they left. Other than Rosalie, they all pretended to care. It was a lie. It was cruel of them.”

I hadn’t really thought of how it would appear to Bella before, but she was right, from her perspective it was cruel of them. I had to try to get her to see things a little differently. 

“They all, well not Rosalie and Jasper, thought that Edward was making a bad decision in leaving, but he persuaded them to go.”

“If you, Irina, Carmen and Eleazar thought something was wrong, would Kate be able to talk you into it?”

“It depends on how strongly she felt about it, and how strongly we did” I didn’t see the pitfall.

“Exactly. If they had felt strongly enough that it was wrong to leave me without even keeping in touch then they could not have been persuaded to. Any feelings they had for me must have been pretty feeble.”

And, who’d have thought it, I finally saw her attraction. Bella was very, very smart for a human and since he could not read her mind, she would have held endless fascination for Edward. He really was a dickhead for not keeping her.

Back downstairs Carlisle was getting ready to leave.

“I’ll come with you” I said to him. I wanted to talk to the whole family. “Tell Embry I’ll come by later, unless he’s on patrol tonight?” I looked at Sam.

“He wasn’t going to be, but it wouldn’t hurt for him to start putting in the hours. You can have the night off tonight, he’s all yours tomorrow.”

Back at the house everyone was there waiting. They knew we wanted to talk because they were all in the dining room sitting at the formal table. When the car had gotten near I started to think ‘Edward the Dickhead’ over and over so that he couldn’t hear any other thoughts from me. I wanted to see his face when I spoke.

I could tell the Carlisle was also keeping him out. I wondered what he was thinking to block Edward.

“While she is here, Tanya will take Bella to school on Monday morning and hand her to the care of Alice and Edward. You will make sure she is accompanied everywhere. You will bring her here at the end of the school day – Esme can you prepare a room for her please? - and take her back to school the next day. On Friday, Tanya will collect Bella from school and take her to the Quileute who will be responsible for protecting her until Tanya takes her to school on Monday. We patrol our own treaty areas. Tanya, Embry, Sam and I are the only ones who enter no mans’ land: they are familiar with our scent and we with theirs. Any questions?”

“Can I shop for clothes for her?” Alice, of course.

“They have to go over her plaster casts, and be something that she can don with only one good hand, and something that she would want to wear. Can you follow those guides, Alice?”

“But what about when her casts are off and her hand is better?”

“Yes, the casts are temporary, but the hand is never going to be better. Victoria did too much damage. Luckily she started with Bella’s left hand so she still has a good right one.”  
I was watching Edward as Carlisle spoke. I was pleased about his pain. And Edward didn’t like my pleasure in his pain, but he knew that he deserved it and he nodded an acknowledgment of that fact to me.

“Did you find out more about the attack?” Jasper, the tactician.

“Yes. While Victoria was at the boys’ campsite preparing to torture Bella, Laurent snatched her from school.”

There were hisses all around the table at that, not least from me.

“Laurent? Are you sure? But he’s Irina’s mate!” I said, only to be the recipient of more hisses.

“Yes, Bella named him and the wolves’ description fit him” Carlisle replied, then continued 

“After Laurent handed Bella over to Victoria she told him to make sure she wasn’t disturbed and then when she had finished playing Laurent could finish Bella off. ‘I’m looking forward to it: she does smell decidedly mouth watering’ was his response.”

“When I get hold of that double crossing, lying ...” Edward snarled.

“You won’t need to do anything” Carlisle said. “The pack killed him. The only problem on that front is what do we tell Irina?”

That really put me in a quandary. On one hand Irina is my sister and deserved to know what happened to her mate, on the other, she would want to kill the pack, my mate’s brothers! I knew that she alone could not do any damage to the pack, but if she persuaded the others to join her then they could hurt the pack, but some of them would also be killed.

“We say nothing” Alice declared. “Tell her and she will attack the pack and be killed. It is better that she think he just left. After all, he clearly did not want to stick to the diet and she had to have known that deep down.”

“Tanya, you know Irina best. What do you think?” Carlisle put the onus on me, which, I suppose, is where it ought to be in this case.

“Alice is right. We forget about Laurent and say nothing” although I had no idea how I was going to be able to face my sister, or even the rest of my family. I would have to make sure that Embry said nothing too.

“Good. Before that attack, when Bella realised that it was Victoria and Laurent that the pack kept coming across she said that she believed she was the target. Unfortunately Sam didn’t really agree since he couldn’t conceive why one specific human would be of such great interest to a vampire especially since they thought that Laurent and Victoria were mates. Therefore Sam was only watching the school from a distance and hadn’t realised that Bella had been snatched straight away giving Laurent a few minutes head start. Sam had to phase and call the pack, requiring them to ditch school and take up the chase. They caught up with Laurent but when they got to Bella she was unconscious and alone, apart from the three bodies of those poor boys. The pack moved the campsite closer to bear country and left the bodies on a river bank where they would be found by the bears. They said that they felt very guilty for doing that but they couldn’t risk someone coming up with the right answer on seeing all the same neck wounds. I’m going to pay for the funerals of all three, and Charlie. Jake said that Bella is so out of it that she won’t notice that she hasn’t paid the funeral bill. Those not involved with moving the boys’ campsite searched, unsuccessfully, for her finger and carried Bella to Forks hospital.”

“What were her injuries?” Edward asked.

“Two breaks in each shin. The bones are now held together by metal pins and it’s impossible to say if she will have a limp.”

“She was never the most graceful of humans” Rosalie snorted.

“Well, now it is likely that she will be worse” Carlisle continued. “Every bone in her left hand was broken, some crushed, and her little finger was snapped off. Bella said that the smell of her own blood made her pass out.”

“It would” Edward smiled at a memory. “She said before that the smell of blood made her vomit and pass out. We had an argument about it because I said that humans couldn’t smell blood. Sorry, I digress.”

“That was it for the physical. The emotional trauma is immense, but as we know, Bella is remarkably resilient, or she was, but there is now the added burden of Charlie’s death for her to deal with. Tanya, you spoke with her, how is Bella? What will we have to face while she is here?”

Crap, while I wanted to rub Edward’s nose in it, I wasn’t happy about telling the others. But Carlisle was right, they needed to know. I started to repeat the conversation that Bella and I shared.

“You bit your finger off! Why?” everyone, except Esme, asked Carlisle.

“I had to try to do something to demonstrate my remorse. I couldn’t think of anything else” he was frustrated.

I carried on with my recitation. This time there were no interruptions until I got to the end.  
I looked around the table: Emmet and Jasper were in pain, Esme, Alice and Edward were devastated, Rosalie and Carlisle just looked sombre.

“When I spoke to her she asked me how I would have felt if Emmet suddenly ditched me and took you all with him leaving me only Jasper for company. She said that she can’t believe that so called intelligent vampires could think for even one moment that it would be possible to get over such an event.” I hadn’t known about that one.

“I think that you have to accept that you will be protecting a very hostile young woman and it is not likely to change. Can you all handle that?” I asked. “Do you have the patience?” I looked at them all, then “Alice, think, do you have the patience? Being your usual self will only antagonise her further.” And from the look in Alice’s eyes you would think I was boiling live kittens.


	7. Edward - Whatever It Takes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella informs the Cullens why she doesn't believe they care about her.

Tanya had got Bella so right. And that was so annoying. In Bella’s eyes we were cruel betrayers and to pretend otherwise, because in her mind it could only be pretence; would be making it worse.

“She needs to be brought here on Sunday for this week” I said. “We have to have the chance to talk to her and agree exactly what the rules are for handling our interaction. Bella would understand that at least.”

I looked at everyone else, ending with Tanya.

“I agree, I’ll talk to her tomorrow about it.”

I was about to get up to leave the table when Tanya stopped me.

“Edward, having come know Bella a little, heard about her from Embry, how could you have thought for one moment that leaving her was the best thing to do – for her?” she finished snidely, making it clear that she believed that it was only an excuse and that I left her because deep down I really wanted to.

“You know what happened on her birthday, Tanya. Bella was always having accidents, it could have happened again at any time, and it could have been a lot worse. If I had lost control of myself for one millisecond around her I would have killed her. No she was definitely better off with me out of her life” I finished bitterly.

“Are you out of your tiny mind?” Tanya screeched at me. “Did you not notice what state she is in at the clearing? Do you even have a clue what state she was in when you left her? Did you not hear what she said to Rosalie?”

“I know, but in time, once we have taken care of Victoria ...” I tried to say.

“No!” this time it was calm, gentle Esme shouting at me. “No, Edward. You have said yourself on many occasions that Bella is a danger magnet. Think of the two times you saved her when the danger had nothing whatsoever to do with you being a vampire. Think of what would have happened on both occasions if you were not a very gifted vampire. How can you even think that she would be safer without you?”

“Jacob can keep her safe, and give her a real life. I’ve read all the memories of seeing them together in Denali, and I saw the closeness for myself. Jacob can help her to heal” I was adamant.

“Oh, you really are a ...” words seemed to have failed Tanya. “If I was being mean I could let you continue to think that, but Embry is fond of her, as, to my surprise, am I. Bella dumped Jake because one day he will imprint on someone, that someone will not be her since all they have to do is look into the eyes of their imprint. Apparently Jake pointed out that he might not imprint but Bella could not live with the fear of being discarded again hanging over her head. Even Jake knows that Bella will not go back to him. They are now just very close friends. Jake has helped her heal as much as he is able. Bella will either not get any better, and by the way she still has screaming nightmares about you leaving her every night, or someone else will have to help her. Who do you think it should be?”

I couldn’t explain how relieved I was by the news that Jacob Black was no longer Bella’s ... what? Her boyfriend? Her lover? It didn’t matter, he was out so it meant there was room for me to be in. And I would be in, no matter what it takes, I was adamant that I would win Bella back for myself. It didn’t matter how long it took, I had plenty of time. I only hoped that she did too.

Alice and I were left very much alone at school: apart from one memorable visit from Angela and Ben,

“I don’t know why you left without staying in touch with Bella” Angela said to me and Alice as she grasped Ben’s hand, “and I don’t think it’s any of our business to know. But I do know that as well as fooling Bella into thinking you loved her, you fooled me too. I couldn’t believe it when I heard the news. It was only when I saw the effect of you leaving had on Bella that I realised that the two of you were unconscionably callous to her.”

Alice wanted to defend us to Angela, but I held her back. Alice didn’t see what I could see in Angela and Bens’ minds as they remembered Bella after we left. I didn’t know how I could remain calm, but I had to.

“I’m sorry that you feel that way, Angela. It was not our intention to hurt Bella so much. When we moved I thought a clean break would be best for both of us. I couldn’t see how we could maintain a long distance relationship” I tried to reason.

“Then you didn’t love her even half as much as you pretended” Ben said as the pair walked away leaving Alice and I alone at our lunch table, the obvious target for everyone’s enmity.

‘What did you see from them?’ Alice asked me silently.

“Bella when we left” I said quickly and quietly so that none but Alice would hear.

‘But you saw what she was like from my vision before we left’ Alice was puzzled as to why I was bothered now.

“But I didn’t see how bad it got, or how long it would last. Everyone is thinking about the fact that we arrived just after the three boys got killed by the bears. Most are hoping that the same thing happens to us when we go on one of our camping trips.”

And as much as I was sorry for the fate of the three boys, I was glad that I didn’t have to listen to any of their minds, hearing their fantasies about Bella and part of me wished Mike Newton had also perished. And how pathetic did that make me?

Sunday evening Tanya brought Bella to us. Esme and Rosalie went to greet them. I watched from a window.

For all I used to complain that I couldn’t read her mind, Bella’s face made it quite clear what she was thinking: she really did not want to be here. Bella looked at the house and her face scrunched up in pain and she stiffened visibly, making it harder for Tanya to lift her from the car.

“Bella! It’s so lovely to see you again, although not in these circumstances, of course. Welcome back!” Esme tried to go to hug Bella.

Bella threw a look of entreaty to Tanya and cringed away from Esme. 

I could hear how Bella’s attitude hurt Esme. She thought she was welcoming her third daughter home and had disregarded Tanya’s warning about Bella’s hostility not really believing the truth of it.

Rose was more sensible. “Hey Bella. Why don’t you let Tanya carry you in and I’ll bring your chair if you would prefer to sit in that rather than one of the sofas.”

“Thanks, Rosalie. That would be much better” Bella said with relief. I guessed it was so that none of us could sit next to her.

The tension in the house visible. Poor Jasper was almost ready to snap in half it was so painful for him. 

“It’s not your fault, Jasper” I said as I heard him tell himself that it is his own fault this was happening so that it was right that he suffer this way.

‘I think we both know that it is’ he replied in his mind.

Alice must have realised what I was referring to and what Jasper thought in return. “No, Jazz. You are not to blame for the instinct to go for blood. You are not to blame for the decisions taken after that, nor for their consequences.”

“She’s right, we are all to blame for that” Emmett put in, unusually perceptive of him.  
Tanya carried Bella into the living room. Rosalie set up her chair. Esme placed her bags by the stairs. 

Bella made a point of not looking at anyone until she had been settled.

“Can I get you anything?” Tanya asked.

“Some water, please.”

“Are you sure? Your bag?” and I tried to read Tanya’s mind as to why she would make a specific point of mentioning Bella’s bag but got nothing.

“No, thank you, Tanya, just the water.”

I don’t know why Tanya went to get the water at human speed, perhaps thinking it would give Bella time to get her thoughts in order, but all that happened is that Bella had time to glare at everyone. Everyone that is except me.

Alice stood wringing her hands, bouncing from foot to foot.

‘Bella! What’s happened? We were friends! You were my sister!’ I could hear Alice thinking.

“Past tense, Alice” I whispered. “Leave it!”

The vampires all heard and looked at Alice and me. Bella clearly understood that a conversation had been going on that was not meant for her ears and sneered to herself.  
Esme felt a sudden wave of anguish as she realised, for the first time, what damage we, no, I did to Bella by leaving her.

“Bella, we’re sorry!” Esme cried before I could try to stop her. “We love you! You are my third daughter.”

“No! Enough of this love crap! I am not, and never have been a third daughter to you. Please, all of you just stop this pretending. Rosalie managed to be honest. Is it too much to ask for the rest of you to be the same?” Bella was angry, and anguished.

“Bella, I know you don’t want to hear this, or believe it, but Esme is right” Carlisle tried to be cool and calm. “We thought, and still think of you as our daughter. However, if it will make it easier for you, we will try to just be people who are here to help.”

Bella sneered again, but nodded her acceptance by the end of Carlisle’s words.

“Please, give me a few minutes! I have to leave!” Jasper wailed as he ran from the room.

“He can feel everyone’s pain” I whispered. “It’s too much for him to bear.”

“You’re hurting Jazz, Bella!” Alice shouted at her. “You’re being horrible and hurting everyone and Jasper can feel all their pain! Stop it! Please, stop it! Edward! Make her stop it” Alice threw herself at my chest.

Esme was leaning into Carlisle, both of them suffering. Rosalie was holding onto Emmet, giving him the support he needed more than she did at that particular moment.

Tanya was trying to calm Bella with quiet words while thinking ‘Are you proud of yourself, Edward? Pleased with all you’ve achieved with your arrogance?’

“Bella” I said looking at her, watching the flinch and wave of pain move over her whole body as I said her name, “I know you don’t want to do this, but perhaps it would be better just to get everything out into the open and then we can move on with the purpose of us all being here. Can you do that, please?”

We all looked to Bella as she thought for a few seconds.

‘Big risk, bro’ Emmet thought. ‘What if she has more hate waiting to spew out?’ I just shrugged my answer.

‘It might help’ Carlisle and Esme both thought.

‘Well I doubt it could make things any worse’ Rosalie was philosophical. I thought she was wrong, it would probably get a lot worse before it got any better.

‘Please, Bella, let it go!’ Alice prayed.

“Very well, what do you want to say?” Bella said and looked to Carlisle.

‘Okay, here goes’ he thought. ‘I only hope I can explain it properly.’ “Bella, after what happened in Phoenix we were all frightened of something happening to you. Something as a result of associating with vampires. Then what happened on your birthday just reinforced the fear. There was too much danger for you being in our world. We all loved you enough to want you to stay safe. We spoke about vampires losing their soul so you understand why Ed... he, wouldn’t want to change you. You and I may feel differently, but you are Ed... his mate and it should be his decision.” ‘Did I do okay?’

I gave a little nod thinking it was good.

“Tell me, Carlisle” and I knew I was wrong, “if Emmet decided to torture Rosalie would that be acceptable, because after all, he is her mate and it should be between the two of them?”

“Of course it would not be acceptable!”

“Then why was it acceptable for him to torture me?”

“He didn’t leave you to torture you. He left to keep you safe!” Carlisle tried to explain.

“Don’t give me that. You knew what him leaving would do to me. Don’t say you didn’t. You knew I would suffer. You knew!” The last two words were said with so much pain that there was no doubting Bella’s sincerity.

“We thought you would get over him. You are a young human, Bella. You should have been able to forget about him, move on” Carlisle started to plead for Bella’s understanding.

“Alice, what did your visions show of my future once you left?”

We all knew that Alice did not want to have to answer. “That you would lose weight, mope, become isolated.”

“A what point did your visions show that I would move on?”

“They never did.”

“You presumably covered psych in med school, Carlisle. What would be text book reaction for someone suddenly losing the person they believe to be the love of their life and three quarters of their immediate family, including the sister they were closest to, all at the same time, but never, ever be able to talk to anyone about it because who could she talk to about her vampire family?”

Carlisle sighed and closed his eyes. “A complete mental breakdown.”

“And that is what you claim is acceptable to do to a daughter, not accidently, but with malice and forethought. Please, do not spout any more crap about loving me. You are intelligent and you had all the information to work out what would happen to me, but you let it happen. When the going got a little tough, I was expendable.”

‘Damm she’s smart’ Emmet thought.

‘Why didn’t I insist that I stay in touch?’ Alice wailed in her head.

‘I’ll never forgive myself’ Esme silently sobbed.

‘First do no harm. Some doctor I am’ Carlisle was depressed. 

As much as I hated what I was hearing, I was so proud of her. A mere human, a young one at that, was beating a bunch of intelligent vampires in an argument.


	8. Jasper - Guilty As Charged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More home truths are told and the Cullens learn a little about Bella's pain.

Almost as soon as I left the house I knew I had to return. The suffering was all my fault so I deserved to feel it. The coward inside of me wished I hadn’t. I heard every word Bella said. And the worst part of it was that she was right. We not only let it happen, we all contributed.

“I’m sorry, Bella. You are right. I knew what would happen to you” I said as I entered the room and went on my haunches in front of her. “I could feel the love you felt and knew that you would not get over it any time soon. I could have insisted that I be the one to pay the price for my lack of control but I didn’t want to lose my family and I sacrificed you instead.”

“At last, some honesty. But Jasper, the lack of control was not all your fault. Everyone, bar perhaps Carlisle contributed to that. Given that I am ... His singer, he contributed the most so you really should not blame yourself in any way. I don’t blame you for your decision, your sense of self-preservation undoubtedly served you very well in the past so you should not feel guilty for the fact that it is still active.”

A part of me wanted to argue, but Bella was absolutely right. She had read my situation so absolutely that I guessed she read everyone else just as clearly and was not at all impressed with us. A human knew more about us than we did ourselves.

“But Bella, I want you to try to understand that just because you are right to question the depth of our affection for you, it doesn’t mean that there wasn’t any. Your emotions may have been stronger than ours appear to be – they are certainly deeper than most of us believed them to be. The fact that we did not recognise this is due to our arrogance. Maybe we are equally wrong about other humans, and not just you. Maybe humans are more complex than we had ever given them credit for. I hope, in time, you can forgive us, but even if you don’t, I am grateful that I have this opportunity to help you now.”

“Well said Bro!” Emmet cheered me. “Come on Bella, what can we do to help?”

“Yes, Bella, what can we do to make your time here easier for you?” Rosalie was surprisingly sensible.

I went to stand by Alice and put my arms around her. I could feel her pain and knew that there really was nothing that could be done to make things better, at least not in the short term. Alice was going to have to accept that Bella was not her friend anymore and did not believe that Alice was ever hers.

“Very well. First, I really do not want to hear any words of friendship or affection. I am only here to give the pack a break. If possible, I would like a room with access to a bathroom that I can get my chair through so that I can build up my independence and have some privacy.”

“The room I have chosen for you would fit your needs” Esme said trying to hide her distress. “I have also attached some handrails thinking that you would want the chance to do more for yourself.”

“Thank you, Esme. When necessary I should like Tanya or Rosalie to carry me if possible. That does not mean that I expect either you to stay in on the off chance that I will need you though. It would be helpful if I could make use of a table or desk in my room with access to a computer. I have a lot of work to catch up with if I am to have any chance of graduating. I will need to have Angela, Ben and Mike visit on occasion to help me with that. I trust there will be no problem with that?”

I felt the rage that emanated from Edward at Bella’s words. I tried to calm him. I was not successful.

“That ... that vile Mike Newton is not stepping foot into this house!” he squeezed through his teeth.

Bella’s upper lip curled. She took a ‘phone out of her pocket and called a number.  
“Mike, hey, it’s Bella. You know you were going to help me with some of my school work? Yeah, well, would you mind if I came to your place on Wednesday instead of you coming to me? Great, thanks. Yeah, if you wouldn’t mind giving me a ride after school. I really appreciate it, thanks Mike. See you tomorrow.” Bella disconnected the call. “There, no problem. I will be at Mike Newton’s house. Let me know how you are going to manage the protection without alerting him to the fact that there is a problem.”

Edward was incandescent with impotent rage. Everyone else was very impressed.

“Bella, you are one hell of a tactician” I said with approval. “I had no idea that you were so smart before. You have out gunned us. Well done. I’m sure that Ed...” and I felt the stab of pain “He will change his mind. Your guests will all be welcome here.”

The feelings from Edward were more frustration based but he didn’t contradict me. He knew he was beaten.

Bella told more of her requests, although ‘demands’ might have been a better word. Given what she felt about us all they were very reasonable. Unfortunately, my family did not think them at all reasonable. They loved Bella and couldn’t accept that she would not let them show it.

Apart from Edward, who I thought deserved every little bit of pain he was feeling (and I caught his wry acknowledgment of that thought), Alice and Esme were suffering the worse. Carlisle felt regretful acceptance, Rosalie felt smug anger towards Edward, Emmet just felt angry, none of Esme’s anger was directed at Bella, it just wasn’t in her nature to be angry with an innocent child, but Alice, I would need to have to talk to Alice. She was in danger of putting herself beyond Bella’s reach forever. She had to be patient, give Bella time. But my little pixie was not known for her patience.

I saw Edward nod at me as he went to Alice and whispered in her ear. “Alice, please don’t ruin any chance we might have of repairing the damage. Please try to look at everything from Bella’s point of view and see that we are responsible for this. Please back off and give her chance to heal. Please Alice. I’m begging you, please.”

At that Alice whipped her head to look at Edward. She looked devastated as she talked to him in her mind. She finally agreed with Edward’s request and the anger in the room dropped a few notches.

Tanya carried Bella to her room while Rosalie carried her chair. We could hear the conversation from the room.

“Will you manage here, Bella?” Rose asked.

Bella manoeuvred herself in her chair around the room and looked into the bathroom.

“If I could have a couple of crutches I should be able to be completely self-sufficient while I’m up here. That will make me feel a lot easier about being in this house again. I could have all my meals up here and I won’t need to speak to anyone unless necessary. It’s like my own little apartment and there’s nothing in this room to remind me of before.”

“How is she?” Carlisle asked me once Bella was settled in her room for the night.

“She is in constant pain, and I don’t just mean physical” I replied. “It is a continuous ache until something reminds her of the past with us and then it is like being stabbed with a burning stake. Her normal pain is not as great as Edward’s but when we hurt her, her pain is much greater than his and Alice’s” I sent an apologetic look at my suffering wife.

“And she is not at all responsible for their pain, but they are for hers” Rosalie pointed out, as if we could have forgotten.

“So what do we do?” Emmet asked the important question.

“We do exactly as Bella asks” Carlisle said. “We say nothing about the past, or try to make it all better. We show by our actions that we care. I will need to talk to Bella and Sam and say that we will be staying until at least a month after graduation. To leave before then would generate too much interest. The fact that it might give us more time to re-build our bonds with Bella is a happy coincidence.”

“Smart” was Emmet’s response.

I could feel the relief from the others, a break from the pain and anger, and I felt that I could relax a little. Edward looked at me sympathetically.

‘We both deserve our pain’ I thought at him, ‘We both need to learn from it.’

It was about an hour later that we could hear sounds coming from Bella’s room and I could feel her pain increasing.

“She talks in her sleep” Edward explained.

But she wasn’t enjoying happy dreams.

“Don’t leave me. Please, don’t go” she said.

“Should we try to calm her down?” Rosalie asked.

“I don’t know” was Edward’s unhelpful response. “She might see it as an invasion of her privacy. But Tanya did say that she had screaming nightmares every night and presumably others had tried to calm her down before they got to that.”

Then I fell to the floor clutching my chest in agony. I screamed with the pain half a second before Bella.

Rosalie ran up to Bella’s room while Alice and Carlisle dropped to me.

“It’s alright Bella, you’re safe now” I could hear Rosalie saying to Bella as the sounds of her moving on Bella’s bed suggested that she was trying to cuddle her.

“He left me!” Bella wailed. “I can’t breathe through the hole in my chest.”

“It’s alright Bella” Rosalie said and I could feel the pain diminish slightly. “I am so sorry. I’m here now. You can rest again.”

“You won’t leave me?” and I felt more pain, not just from Bella.

“No, I’ll still be here when you wake if you want.” Even through my pain I heard the maternal notes in Rose’s voice. For just a little while, Rose was finally going to get her baby.

“I have no idea how a human can stand all that pain” I said. “We have to find a way to make her better.

“Jazz, I can’t bear to see you in such agony. Why don’t we leave? I can come back to go to school” Alice offered. “You shouldn’t have to suffer this way!”


	9. Edward - Slowly, Slowly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward decides that it's time to try to talk to Bella; and a plan is formed for dealing with Victoria.

“No, I helped cause this pain” Jasper replied, “and while Bella suffers from it, it is only right that I do too.”

“No Jasper” I tried to comfort, “if we had done as you first suggested there would have been no pain. It was my decision and my responsibility. Besides, Bella is correct; by yourself you may well have fought the temptation. But add my desire to the mix and you really didn’t stand a chance. So the blame for the attack also lies with me. And it’s for me to put Bella back together again, I just don’t see how just yet” I finished sadly.

“Oh!” I looked at Alice as a vision went through her mind.

“No!” I yelled. “No, not that again. My feelings are still the same.”

“What did you see?” Carlisle asked.

“Bella as one of us. It is a new vision because she was missing a little finger” Alice pointed out. “Edward, it might be the only way you can convince her.”

“No! Bella is not becoming one of us. She has the most beautiful soul and I will not condemn her to an eternity of darkness” I was adamant.

“No, you’ll just condemn her to an eternity of pain. How can you justify that?” Jasper asked.

“She will heal, in time. She will, she has to” I almost begged someone to agree with me.

“Yeah, you keep on thinking that” Rosalie was quietly scathing from upstairs. “But even if she does heal, what do you think she will be healed into? My bet is that she will be jumpy, nervous, unmarriageble and unemployable. What sort of life is that to condemn her to?”

“Edward, dear, do you think it may have been better if you had simply told her the truth when we left?” Esme, as always, was gentle with her criticism.

I sighed. “You’re probably right, Esme. I thought that by telling her I didn’t love her anymore that it would release her from any ties she felt for me and she would move on that much quicker. I was sure that if I said that we were leaving for her own good it would have made her hold onto my memory for longer.”

“The road to hell” Jasper pointed out, and he was right. The trouble was, Bella was the one who was living in hell despite my good intentions.

Monday morning was hard: harder than I imagined it could be. Esme took up a tray with breakfast so that Bella could eat in her room in private. Somehow Bella had managed to get herself washed and dressed. Dressed, much to Alice’s dismay, in her old clothes, completely ignoring the outfits that Alice had taken so much care over choosing for Bella. That didn’t surprise me in the least. In fact I rather thought that they would never leave the closet until Bella left. Unless I could somehow find a way to make things right between us.

Rosalie carried Bella down to my car and placed her on the back seat.

“Do you want me to come with you to lift you out and place you in your chair?” Rosalie asked Bella, much to my and Alice’s annoyance.

“Thanks, Rose, but that would be too noticeable. I’d rather put up with them helping and trying to limit the gossip. Angela and Ben will be waiting for us so that once I’m in my chair they can take over and push me around.” Bella didn’t look at either Alice or myself when she spoke.

In fact Bella seemed to be making sure she didn’t look at us at all during the journey.

“How much work do you have to catch up with, Bella?” Alice asked.

“Four weeks.”

“Oh, were you not able to do any of it while you were in hospital?” Alice persisted.

“No.”

“Why? Never mind. Can we not help you? We can all chip in. You dictate and we can type that sort of thing” Alice tried again.

“Not necessary.”

It was even worse when I lifted Bella from the car: she visibly cringed away from me. There was a look of pain on her face which I was sure would be magnified in her eyes, if only she had let me see them, and she held herself so stiffly. Until then I hadn’t fully appreciated how much love and trust Bella had shown when she used to relax and snuggle into me when I carried her before. Now it felt like Bella was the stone person rather than me.

Neither Alice nor I were allowed to push Bella’s chair and she didn’t sit with us at lunch. During each lesson the whole class conspired to make sure that Bella did not have to sit near Alice or myself in lessons. The teachers aided and abetted the students in this endeavour.

‘That poor girl’ one teacher thought, ‘she just gets over being a zombie then she gets kidnapped and mutilated, her father gets killed by a bear and then he comes back. I just don’t know if she is going to make it this time.’ A short film of what Bella was like during what was termed ‘her zombie period’ flittered through the teacher’s mind. It was very painful for me to see knowing that I was the direct cause of her malady.

“Come on, Bella, tell us why you would stay at their house after everything they did to you before?” Jessica, as ever eager for juicy gossip, asked at the lunch table.

I could see by the way Bella hunched over herself that she didn’t want to talk about it, but she answered, knowing that Alice and I could hear. “Their house is big enough for me to have my own bathroom with easy access for my chair and a large enough bedroom so that it is like my own little apartment. Plus they feel guilty enough so that they bring my food to me so that I don’t have to share meal times with them. I’m only there for school days and the rest of the time I’m staying with some friends from the Reservation. Jake and his mates are big enough to be able to carry me everywhere I need to go. I just didn’t want to be a full time burden to them.”

“So you’re saying that you’re using them?” Lauren said so sweetly.

“Yes, I guess I am” Bella replied much to everyone else’s surprise. They hadn’t realised that nice, kind Bella had a mean streak. “But only for a few more weeks until my plaster comes off. I should be able to manage at home then by myself.”

And that gave Alice and me another worry. How could we protect her once she was fully mobile?

Carlisle mainly worked the night shift at the hospital. It meant that he could be alone with Esme in the house during the day while we were at school. Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie were supposed to still be in College back east. Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie ran the patrol during the daylight hours while Alice, Esme and I shared the night time patrols. Carlisle warned the hospital that, depending on where Alice and I go to College, he may not stay much beyond our high school graduation so he was working only on a week to week basis for the time being.

Sam understood when Carlisle told him that we would stay until after graduation even if Victoria was caught before then so that our departure was less noticeable. He thanked Carlisle for the heads up. Bella just nodded her head in acknowledgement and I had no idea what she thought about it.

I have no idea how she did it, but Bella managed to ignore us for almost the whole of the first week she stayed with us. She spoke with Tanya and occasionally with Rosalie, but other than thanking Esme for her meals it was as if we were not in her world.

It didn’t take long for me to realise that we really were not in Bella’s world. It wasn’t actually a reflection on us. No one was there with her. Not Jacob and not Angela. They tried, but they could see that Bella had retreated in her own mind. They both thought that it was Charlie’s death that had sent her there. They may have been right.

The second week that Bella stayed with us brought no change. Going slowly with Bella was getting me nowhere so I decided to corner her in her room. Even if I made her angry, it had to be an improvement on what she was like currently. The family were dubious when I explained my plan to them, but they agreed that it wasn’t likely to make matters worse.

“Bella, I want to talk to you. I want to tell you what was going through my mind last September and what persuaded my family to go along with me” I started.

Bella looked at me as if I was mad to think that she gave a hoot about what happened when I left her. Perhaps she did no longer care, but I wanted to try to give my family back the Bella that they knew and loved.

“You have no idea how I felt when James was hunting you. A danger brought into your life by what I am. But for a time I convinced myself that I was strong enough, my family was strong enough, to protect you from the dangers of my world. Then came your birthday and I realised how much my family and I were a danger to you because of what we are. Other than Carlisle, any one of us could have killed you after I pushed you into the table causing your arm to open up. The next time we might not have been so lucky. I couldn’t see a way to stay with you and keep you safe. I thought that the only fair thing I could do for you was to leave and to try to make it so that you would feel no lingering affectionate ties to me. I wanted you to go on to have long and happy life. Get married, have children, grandchildren and die of old age a contented woman. If you stayed with me it wouldn’t happen. So I left.”

“Victoria” Bella said as if it was an argument clincher.

”Victoria should have come after me. That is what we all expected. You should have been in less danger from her away from me” I replied.

“But what about what I wanted? You knew that you destroyed me. You knew from Phoenix that I couldn’t live without you.”

“I was an arrogant jackass, Bella. I was so used to hearing the thoughts of teenaged humans that I assumed that you would react exactly like them. I thought that you would be devastated for a while, but that you would get over me, learn to be happy with a safe human and move on. I thought that I was being cruel to be kind. I thought that your long term happiness required me to leave you.”

“No, you thought that your long term happiness required you to leave me. I wanted to be with you forever. You did not want that with me. You were thinking of yourself so don’t lie.”

“Bella, I am not lying. All of my happiness depends on you. I would love to spend eternity with you, to show you how much I love you in every way. But I cannot be responsible for you losing your soul. The guilt from such a crime would destroy me.”

“So instead you crushed my soul so that there is not enough to give to anyone else, not even myself. How is that better?”

“Put like that, Bella, it isn’t. But like I said, I erroneously judged that you would react as every other teenager after a broken relationship and soon get over me.”

“Whenever did I react like any other normal teenager?” she sounded puzzled.

“You never did Bella and I should have thought of that when I concocted my asinine plans.” I decided it was time to try to get back to the main issue. “Bella, I love you. I’m in love with you. I have felt this way since I first heard you say my name in your sleep. I will still feel this way long after we have both left this world. I do not know if you will ever be able to forgive me for hurting you, but I want you to know that I will never leave you again. Even if you don’t want me, I will stay nearby ready to assist you where I can and waiting for you to call me back to you.”

“That’s silly. What about your family? You can’t expect them to hang about too.”

“My family agreed to leave you because they also thought that it would be in your long term best interests to be away from our world. Alice agreed not to contact you because she thought that I would give in and beg you to take me back within a couple of weeks. If you could find it in you to forgive them, yes they will leave the area, on my own I can hide from the general population but the whole family can’t, but Alice would love to stay in contact by ‘phone and E-mail and for you to visit.”

“There’s not enough of me left to visit. I just don’t care anymore. Victoria has to be killed, part of me knows that, but what would she do if there was no me for her to target anymore? Wouldn’t that just solve the problem best? No more mass killings just to get to me. The pack would no longer be under constant threat and everyone left who I love would be safe.”

The fear shocked me rigid. Was she serious?

“Bella you can’t think like that!” I cried.

“Why not? I’m not living anymore so why should I continue to breathe just so she can torture me some more? I’m going to die anyway and I would rather it not be by the most painful method she can think of.” 

“She’ll never get to you again, I promise you that.”

“You can’t make that promise. You can’t be with me all the time. She’ll find her moment. Perhaps the best thing would be to use my blood to lure her out so that she can be finished off before she kills anymore people.”

“No Bella, you are not going to use yourself as bait. Marry me Bella. Marry me and give me the right to stay by your side at all times because you have to stay alive!” I was starting to get desperate. “Bella, do you remember when we watched Romeo and Juliet? What I said about what I would have done if I hadn’t got to you in Phoenix in time? I meant it. I can’t exist in a world when you don’t live. You die, I die, it’s that simple.”

I heard Alice’s thoughts behind the door. She had had a vision, a good one and she needed to share it with everyone, including Bella.

“Bella, think on what I said, but in the meantime Alice has something she wishes to share with us all. Can everyone come in or would you like me to bring you downstairs?”

“Does it also need to be shared with the pack? If so I’ll come downstairs when they get here.”

I listened to Alice think that it would be better if the pack were here too. She went to ask Carlisle to call Sam.

Fifteen minutes later I carried Bella down to the main room where everyone waited. I didn’t make the mistake of thinking that being allowed the privilege of having Bella in my arms again meant that she had forgiven me: no, it was another aspect of her depressive apathy that she didn’t care enough to argue.

I tried to read Alice’s thoughts about the vision she had but she was reciting the Battle Hymn of the Republic in mandarin to keep me out. She obviously wanted the element of surprise to be on her side.

“Bella decided that she would find a way to offer herself up as bait, or sacrifice to bring Victoria out in the open to where we could get her” Alice declared once everyone was seated.

There was a moment of silence before:

“No! Are you crazy?”

“Typical. You’ll make more of a mess.”

“Out of the question!”

“No way!”

And more of that ilk.

“Then it got me thinking” Alice ignored all the interruptions. “Something that is bound to attract Victoria’s attention is Bella’s blood, so I decided to ask Carlisle to draw as much blood from Bella as is safe and use it to lure Victoria to a place of our choosing. It works.” Alice showed me more details of her plan in her mind. The only drawback is that it required a human to lay the blood drop trail if Bella was not up to doing it herself.

“Grandad would love to do it” Quil said. “He frequently says how much he wishes that he could do something to demonstrate that the ‘Protector’ gene is strong in him”.

The plan was discussed more at length. The only person who did not say a word was Bella.

“What do you think, Bella? Will you donate some of your blood and clothes to the cause?” Jasper asked.

“Yes, but why can’t it wait until I can walk and then I leave the trail?”

“Because we’ll need your blood to be as fresh as possible without preservatives and you won’t be up for a hike so soon after donating” Carlisle explained.

“Then as long as Elder Quil won’t mind, okay.”

And we finalised the plan. Bella would sleep in the same set of clothes and not bathe before bed for a week. Elder Quil would wear the Bella scented clothes when he dropped Bella’s blood trail that would lead to the clearing. Once there Elder Quil would take off the Bella scented clothes and be taken back home on the back of one of the wolves. We would stay in the clearing and set the trap.  



	10. Jasper - Something's Not Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper, with the help of Seth realises that there is a problem with their plan. It takes a few others to help come up with a stronger plan.

I was listening to the plan or, The Plan, as I mentally thought of it, and it was good. Bella’s blood is particularly enticing and I could certainly see how that would make the perfect lure. Even if the wolves stayed away to make sure they didn’t interfere with Alice’s visions, there was more than enough of us to trap and kill one vampire, no matter how skilled she was in evasion. But something was telling me that it was too easy, my gut instinct, my spidey sense, my …

“Okay, Jasper, enough” Edward interrupted my musings.

“Would you like to share with the rest of us?” Carlisle asked.

“Something is telling me that something is wrong. It won’t work because of something that we do not know about, that Alice can’t foresee. I don’t know what it is, but while my head is telling me that it’s a good plan, my instinct is telling me otherwise” I tried to explain.

“I agree” a timid voice said from the pack. “I didn’t like to say, me being so new to all this, but there is something else going on” the young one looked to the floor.

“Carry on, son” Carlisle encouraged.

“Victoria hasn’t been around since she killed Charlie – why not? She’s never waited this long to make another attempt before. It’s not that she caught your scents here because she hasn’t been here to know so what else has changed?”

I liked this kid, he was spot on.

“She found out from someone else, of-course” Bella said.

“Tanya, call Eleazar and find out if something unusual has happened at home” Alice suddenly demanded.

Tanya did as asked and we all listened appalled as Eleazar said that they had received a visit from an old friend of Laurent’s who wanted let Irina know what had happened to him.  
“Carmen and Kate are comforting her now, but perhaps you should be here to help console her.”

“I will be back soon. Tell me, did anyone mention to Victoria where I am?” Tanya asked.

“Why yes, of course we mentioned that our coven leader was visiting our friends the Cullens in Forks, Washington. How did you know that she was called Victoria?” Eleazar was puzzled.

“It’s the same Victoria that Bella came to Denali to warn the Cullens about” Tanya explained.

“No, that can’t be. She was so nice, so sorry about Laurent’s death.”

“Did she say that Laurent was killed by the pack of wolves after he had taken Bella from school and handed her over to be tortured by Victoria?”

“No, just that they were hunting in the area when they were attacked out of the blue by the werewolves and Laurent was fatally injured” Eleazar repeated Victoria’s story.

“So Victoria knows that the Cullens and I are here. She has to know that would make her task that much harder unless she has some assistance. Thanks Eleazar, I’ll call you again later.”

That was when the penny clicked for me. Tanya mentioned that Victoria needed assistance and that was what she was doing.

“Darn and blast! The woman is making an army!” I exclaimed. I ignored all the exclamations around me and looked at Carlisle. “Think about it – gangland killings in Seattle; it’s uncontrolled new borns. Edward, you tracked her down to Texas, didn’t you?”

“Yes, and you’re thinking that she got the idea for a new born army from there.” I could tell that Edward agreed with my thoughts.

“Yes, but she didn’t learn enough to know how to control them and keep them off the grid. If we don’t do something about them soon then the Volturi will step in and in this case I don’t think we want that, do we?”

“Hang on” Sam the pack leader interrupted, “who or what are the Volturi and why don’t you want them to step in?”

Carlisle answered “The Voluturi are our rulers and police force. If one of us breaks the law the Volturi step in to clear up the mess and execute the wrong doers. Our laws all boil down to one essential: keep the secret of our existence from humans. Uncontrolled new borns bring human attention to their activities and the increase in the use of CCTV increases the risk of being caught on camera. If the Volturi come to clear up the situation in Seattle with the new borns they may find out why Victoria created the army. In that situation all of us are at risk, they will not stop until every single one of us is executed. You and your pack would only be safe if they knew how you became wolves and that the mutant gene could be found in just about every Quileute but I don’t think that they would stop long enough to chat about it.”

“There’s 16 of us, shouldn’t we be able to put up a good fight?” Paul asked, cracking his knuckles as if he looked forward to it.

“No” Carlisle was adamant. “The Volturi guard have extraordinary powers. Jane can cause you to feel untold pain with one look. She will torture the information out of her victim. Alec can deprive us all of all our senses so that we are sitting ducks waiting for Felix, the strongest mature vampire I know, to just execute us. All it will take is just the three of them and we are all dead. Dead because we let a human live who knew our secret.”

“Aren’t you glad you told her about us now, Jacob Black?” Edward was snide.

“There is no point in getting into the blame game. The only right way to have done things was for you have let Tyler’s van squish me” Bella said so matter of factly.

“Actually Bella” my precious pixie tried to amend Bella’s perception, “my vision of what would happen after your blood spilled was not good and there would have been a number of executions in the clean-up of that outcome, depending on who recorded it and what they did with the recording. So Edward had to save you, and luckily that future disappeared.”

Only Edward and I knew that Alice lied – she had not seen any such visions but we all knew they could have happened regardless. And perhaps it would make Rosalie stop going on about how Edward brought this danger by exposing our nature to the human.

“No, she’ll just find something else to go on at me for” Edward muttered to me.

“So what do we do?” Sam asked.

“Alice, Edward and I make a short trip to Seattle to see what we can discover. Alice’s visions should be more effective there if she looks for specific things. Depending on the numbers our original plan might work with just minor changes to make sure the balance of power is in our favour” I said thinking about steps we can take to minimise the risk of loss to us or the wolves.

“Have a fight” Bella said.

“What?” came from a number of mouths.

“While they are away, Emmet and Rose have a fake fight with two wolves that results in blood flowing somewhere closer to where they might be so that they do not know how closely you are all working together” Bella explained her brilliant idea.

Emmett got talking to Jake so they could co-ordinate their fight. They both decided that Leah would be the other wolf – one mythical pair on a date being interrupted by another mythical pair on date.

“That is one double date that I wish I could see” Carlisle said with a hint of humour.

Our trip to Seattle was most informative: Alice made sure that we ran into a pair of new borns in a secluded spot. Of course they thought that they could take the three of us.

“We’ve been told that your yellow eyes mean that you feed off of animals and that makes you weak. And with the little one, I bet the two of us could destroy the three of you with one hand tied behind our backs” one of them said.

“Why would you want to?” Alice asked to make them either give us information verbally or through Edward’s mind reading.

“You’re keeping a human who knows about us and not even drinking from her when she has the sweetest blood. We’ve been promised that whoever gets to her after you have all been destroyed will taste the nectar of the gods” said the other.

“You do realise that the way you have been behaving here is likely to bring the Volturi down on you all, don’t you” Alice probed again.

It was obvious that they didn’t know who the Volturi were. “The Volturi are our law keepers and they have the most gifted guards that there are. An army of one hundred could not defeat the Volturi and your indiscrete hunting is going to bring their attention to you sooner rather than later. We just came to warn and suggest that you move away in smaller groups to avoid notice. We are doing you a favour” I said trying to sound sincere.

They both snorted and very unsubtly moved to try to get us in a pincer movement. The three of us had worked out what we would do in such a situation: I made a decision on what I would do and Edward would read the results of my decision in Alice’s mind. If it was not a good outcome then Alice would tap my hand to let me know to make another choice. If all was well they would step away from me slightly. We didn’t really need to have the physical signals because I would be able to gauge their emotions and know whether it was a good decision or not.

“How many of you are there?” I asked.

They both snorted and one of them said “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Well, actually, it doesn’t make much difference to us, since we won’t be here anyway for you to fight and the Volturi will be the ones you have to defend yourselves against. I think there’s probably no more than 20 of you and like I said before, 100 of you wouldn’t win against the Volturi. Who’s made you all and why would they make you to put you and themselves at risk just to get at one human?” I fished further.

“We told you, that human has the sweetest blood.”

Edward snorted this time. “I know how sweet her blood is, I’ve drank of it, but I can assure you that since I am not tempted to drink it again it can’t be worth losing your existence over which is what you will do if you don’t all fade away.”

The two were clearly taken aback by Edward’s words, and quite shocked that having drunk from Bella he wouldn’t want to drink again. But they were resolute. There was nothing that I could think of that we could do to make them change their minds against attacking us. I decided to take the biggest one and to let Edward take the other. I could tell that it would work out in our favour.

The fight was very quick: Alice didn’t even try to help. She went off to find some kindling to start a fire. Luckily the venom in vampire bodies is highly flammable and the pieces of the new borns burned quickly so we could hide all the evidence and leave before any humans thought to come and investigate the strange purple smoke.

“Well that took longer than we thought it would” Emmett said as he cracked his knuckles in an attempt to sound threatening. “They heal up real quick and since we didn’t really want to have to hurt them we had to take our time to spread enough blood about to make it look good. Did you learn anything good?”

We all looked to Edward to repeat what we had learned since he was the one who got the information from their minds.

“With the two that we destroyed, there’s now 19 left, but the numbers change slightly as Victoria makes more and they destroy each other in fights. Well, we’re assuming that it is Victoria that makes them since a vampire called Riley is in charge of the new borns and they all know that he has to report to someone else who calls the shots. They know it is a she, but that’s all. My guess is that she’s protecting herself in case the Volturi arrive so that Riley would be the only one she had to worry about. They don’t know when they’ll be attacking, but it should be soon since Victoria can’t make a bigger army and the longer she waits the greater the chance the Volturi will turn up. They think that because we drink from animals we are weak, and Bella is definitely the target.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We sometimes write and read fanfiction in an effort to shut out reality for a while. It might be a great way to escape what's going on out there, but please, when you have to go out into the real world, do so safely.


	11. Emmet - Let The Fun Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emmet's thoughts as they wait for Victoria and her army to arrive.

I wasn’t like Edward and Carlisle, or even Jasper. They always had to think about everything so much that I sometimes forgot what the original point was that they had to think to death. Me, I am a man of action and this sitting around talking about the plan was so boring. At least we got to help train the pups how to fight the new borns; that was quite fun, apart from the stink that is.

It was while everyone was taking part in a big conflab that I happened to notice Bella. Given that every so often she would speak one of her very to the point sentences (why couldn’t everyone else only speak when they had something to say that was very much to the point?) I hadn’t realised that she looked like she wasn’t really there. What was that human saying - the lights are on but there’s no-one at home? Well that seemed to describe Bella to a tee. I didn’t know if it was because she had nothing further to add to the discussion since it had been talked to death or because she had just switched off in general. I decided to keep an eye out for little Bella-Boo.

Two days later I knew I was right to worry. Bella wasn’t really there. I had to talk to her, even if it meant infringing upon her privacy and invading her room.

“Hey, Bella-Boo I need to speak to you” I said as I entered her room without waiting for her permission or her rejection of my presence.

“What do you want Emmett?” Bella asked, quite apathetically too.

“I want to talk to you about your plans for after this fight” I said, hoping to get her to think and talk about the future.

“I have no plans” Bella shrugged.

“What? Why? You always have plans” I was concerned for her.

“Emmett, I am just focussing on getting past this fight with Victoria, graduating High School and getting out of these casts and being able to walk again. There is no point in me making plans until I know how those things pan out” she said as if she didn’t even really care.

“Yeah, I guess I see what you mean, but have you applied to any Colleges, and if so, which ones?” I persisted.

“No” Bella was not very forthcoming.

“Why not?” I persisted.

“I don’t want to go to College until I can be fully independent” Bella replied.

I mentally sympathised with her point and thought that Bella was probably being very sensible in taking a year off until something occurred to me.

“Hang on, you should have applied for Colleges months ago, before all this happened. Did you put in for a deferment?” I asked.

“No” was Bella’s brief response.

Now I was really puzzled. “What do you mean? Why haven’t you applied to any Colleges?” I asked.

“Emmett, none of this is any of your business. I am not going to College. I have made no further plans. I shall worry what I’m to do after I am able to look after myself properly without having to rely on anyone else to do things for me. Now, is there anything else you want to talk to me about because I want to concentrate on my school work so that I can do what I can to ensure I actually do graduate?” It almost sounded like Bella was getting irritated with me.

I glanced at the books that were on her desk, but not opened. I thought about pushing Bella further but decided not to and to talk to Rosie about my concerns.

“Emmett, love, she’s right. She really should concentrate on getting through graduation and all the physical therapy that she’ll have to go through because it’s going to be a very long and painful time for her. Who knows why Bella didn’t apply for College before, perhaps she didn’t have the money and was going to have to take a year or two out to try to save some. Don’t worry about her; I’m sure Jasper would tell us if there was anything to be concerned about.”  
Rosie patted my arm and kissed me to show she was done talking about Bella and wanted me to concentrate on her for a while, something I was always happy to do.

“You are right to be concerned” Edward said to me when I replayed my conversation with Bella to him. “Bella always wanted to go to College and had started a small savings account to help pay for it. I don’t know why Charlie and Renee didn’t have a College Fund set up for her.”

“I’m not at all surprised that it never occurred to dippy Renee to set one up but I would have thought that the Chief of Police would have a bit more forethought and would have started something years ago. D’yer think that she didn’t apply because she wanted to save more before she went?” I asked, hoping that Edward would tell me that was probably the reason.

“No, Bella’s bright enough that she would have been a scholarship contender; and there’s always student loans that she could apply for; additionally, knowing Bella, she in all likelihood would have planned to get a part time job” Edward said. “No, listening to everyone’s thoughts, Bella stopped planning for anything after we left. If we hadn’t come back, my guess is she would have just gone along through life doing what she could to make Charlie happy without even thinking about the chance of happiness for herself. I just hope that our return will be enough to put Bella back on track.”

Edward didn’t sound like he believed that any more than I did, but I really hoped that I was wrong. I hated to think that us leaving the way we did killed Bella more effectively, more painfully than letting Jasper have at her would’ve done.

We were all waiting for the fight. Tensions were starting to rise and we were all getting on each other’s nerves. I think the only person (including vampires and wolves) who was not getting tense was Bella. She went to school, went to the hospital for her medical appointments, came to our house and went to the Reservation. Occasionally she ‘phoned her mother telling a load of lies about how well she was doing physically and with all her school work. I don’t think I saw her smile once; she went through her life cool and calm: it was irritating.

Two weeks before graduation Bella got a call from her mother to say that Phil had had an accident and broken his foot so she, Renee, would not be able to come to Forks to see Bella graduate. I think every vampire in the house was upset and furious on Bella’s behalf on hearing the half-hearted excuses from Renee. Bella, on the other hand, was very stoic and seemed almost relieved. I guess it was because she was glad that there was no chance of her mother being caught up in whatever might be coming our way. But still, a broken foot, or even a broken leg should not have kept Renee from being here to see her only child graduate. It was another thing to irritate me and I just wanted to tell Renee what I thought about her crap mothering. I was starting to need the real fight to begin to release all this tension that was building up, despite my Rosie’s best efforts to keep me grounded and tension free.

Bella was at the Reservation when Alice got the vision. In less than two days, the week before graduation the new born army would be here. We were on!

There were still arguments over who would stay at the house with Bella. Edward was saying that Esme should stay since it wasn’t likely that Bella would need wholesale protection, especially since a young wolf would also be with Bella. Esme pointed out that Edward’s presence would allow for him to read to wolf’s mind and in doing so read what was happening with all the other wolves at the same time and in any case, given Bella’s propensity for attracting danger, it was only prudent that all reasonable precautions were taken to protect her. We all could see that Edward was about to argue further when Esme clinched it by saying “My place is with Carlisle and that is where I shall be. Are you saying that your place is not to be by Bella’s side?”

I mentally applauded Esme, because there was no way Edward could counter that argument. Esme’s place was by the side of her mate, and it was Edward’s time to listen to the counsel of those wiser than he and to stay by the side of his mate in case he was needed to protect her rather than thinking he alone knew what was best. Edward reluctantly nodded his agreement, he looked frustrated and pissed. I did feel for him because if all went to plan he would have a very boring couple of hours listening to the wolves while we got to tear some new borns to pieces.


	12. Seth - Why Can't We All Get Along?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth muses about the pack's inability to get along with the family of one of their imprints and the fight is upon them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I adore Seth, I think he is one of the nicest characters that SM created with Twilight and I wish we could have seem more of him.

I hated how everyone was all gung ho about killing some vampires and ridding the world of their evil. No one, other than Esme, had expressed any sympathy for the people who had been turned and not taught any better. Surely it should be possible to get some of them to change rather than destroy them without any further thought? I’m not saying that it was possible to save them all, or if it was even possible to save any of them, but surely that should be our first thought and something we should try? I mentioned it at a pack meeting and was soundly told off and forbidden from mentioning it again.

I was also forbidden from making friends with the Cullens. I thought that was a very narrow view point: Tanya was Embry’s imprint and she was a ‘cousin’ to the Cullens. Why couldn’t we all get along with the family of an imprint? And Bella made an excellent point about the purpose of an imprint and how it might be to benefit the tribe as a whole since it is clearly not just about producing ‘better cubs’ and being friends with vampires could benefit the tribe, in who knows how many ways? It just seems silly to write something off because of nothing more than ‘how things have always been’.

I wanted to talk to Bella about it, indirectly of course since I had been forbidden from talking about it, but poor Bella didn’t seem to want to talk about anything that related in any way to the Cullens. She had somehow managed to mentally separate Tanya from the Cullens and treat her as if she were in no way connected to them. I wasn’t sure if I was more exasperated or impressed with Bella’s resolve!

Anyhow, I had been the wolf designated to stay with Edward and Bella. Collin and Brady, the two who were younger than me, had to stay at La Push and make sure the tribe didn’t come under attack. No one thought that was likely but Sam insisted we had to cover the bases. We all thought that I was much more likely to see some action given Bella’s propensity for attracting trouble. It was ironic really since I was the only who had no appetite for a fight.

“You’re not the only one, Seth” Edward said as he stood on the porch. “Carlisle and Esme are pacifists and only Emmett is actively looking forward to fighting out of us Cullens. We fight because we see no other viable option.” I kept forgetting that Edward could read minds. It was quite handy since I had been forbidden from mentioning my thoughts on converting some of the new borns, but not from thinking about it: so I did.

‘Why is no one considering trying to convert some of the poor new borns instead of planning to kill them all?’

“We had thought about it, but unfortunately we would need time to talk to them individually to have any chance of changing their minds from their current path, let alone changing their diet. It really is not feasible unless they can stop their attack themselves and allow one of us to approach them individually. Carlisle is especially sorry that he can see no way for us to be more proactive in trying to save them, and Esme is sad that we can think of no way to allow their families to have a proper closure since none of their remains can ever be found, not even their hair. The only possibility is if their clothes can be identified, but it is just as likely that there will be traces of human blood from their victims and we don’t want the fallout from that.”

I nodded my head, pleased that at least someone was giving thought to trying to save lives and thinking of the innocent families left behind. I had grown up hearing the legends of the ‘Cold Ones’ just like the rest of the pack, but I found it hard to think of the Cullens as Cold Ones when they are the ones thinking about the humans left to wonder about their loved ones while the pack are only thinking about destroying vampires. They didn’t even seem to think about the possibility of themselves getting injured, or killed; it’s as if they all think they are invincible. Thank goodness that Jasper was able to help train us.

“You’re right, Seth. The pack was over confident, and is still a little too cocky. We have every chance of winning the battle, but we don’t expect that we will all come out alive and well. At the very least there will be some more battle scars. We will not light fires for the burning until the fight is over to give us more chance to reattach any limbs torn from us, or bits bitten out from us to be found.”

I thought about the need to burn vampires to be sure that they were dead and wondered if it would be possible to take the time then to try to re-educate them. Before Edward could respond to my thought I realised that the vampires were more than likely to be too pissed off to be open for conversion to a less appealing diet.

‘Could we take pictures of the heads or something so that we can let families know that way?’ I wondered. ‘With the very pale skin they might look obviously dead.’

“Features do alter slightly when going through the change, but it might be possible to give closure to some of the families through that route. We’ll need to make sure that we in no way put ourselves at risk, either from human authorities or through the Volturi. I’ll speak to Alice and if she doesn’t see catastrophe from doing it then we’ll give it a try.”

I was pleased that they were at least willing to try, even if it can’t be done.

I was in my wolf form walking through the woods when I heard Leah scream at Sam. She was telling him that if he had to think about Emily the least he could do was to phase back to human if she had to be in wolf form. I agreed with her: it was decidedly thoughtless, at best, for Sam to subject Leah to his thoughts about his fiancé when it was hurting her, and hadn’t he hurt Leah enough?

I heard Leah’s thoughts about wishing to go to College and get away from La Push for a while. Unless there was some sort of scholarship she was eligible for then there was no chance of anything other than Port Angeles Community College which would kind of defeat the object. 

“You keep my private thoughts, private, you hear me?” Leah yelled at me in my head. I mentally agreed to never think of it again. But I didn’t think about Edward.

Edward had heard the whole conversation and told me that he would arrange for it to be looked into, and that someone would speak to Leah alone in case she wanted to keep it private from everyone else.

See, this is the sort of thing I was on about. The Cullens were doing what they could to get along with everyone else; it was the people of La Push that were being the bigots.

Quil had left the house with Elder Quil wearing Bella scented clothes (which somehow seemed to fit him better than they did Bella) and carrying a metal container of Bella’s blood that he would drip to lead the new borns to where we wanted them to go. Bella also had the thought to pull out some of her hairs and place them over Elder Quil so they could fall off at various points and strengthen the scent.

Carlisle had given Bella a blood transfusion to make up for the blood loss, and to cover up the scent of her being in the house. What Bella didn’t know was that the transfusion also included a sedative which was why she was able to sleep so easily. Edward thought it would be less stressful for her to sleep through it all rather than worry every second the fight was going on, as we all knew she would do if there was no intervention.

I was prowling round the house in my wolf form, hearing and seeing everything the other wolves were; as was Edward through my mind. How did he live through the constant barrage of thoughts without going insane? I hated it and it was only the minds of the other wolves I was seeing and even then I could get away from it, if necessary, by transforming back. Edward had no escape.

“It’s one of the things I love about Bella” Edward said. “The fact that I cannot read her mind is both a source of peace and frustration” he sounded almost humorous.

I could understand what he meant. How do normal humans manage love without the benefits of stronger senses or that touch of magical knowledge? It’s clearly hard enough when one does have the upgrades. Uhh! I doubt that I would be that lucky, but I would rather like a nice straight forward imprint like Jared and Kim. Knowing my luck I’ll probably end with a situation like Embry, or Quil; and I don’t know which would be worse. Then I thought of Jake and his frustrated love for Bella that would never be enough for either of them and guessed that that one would be worst.

“I think you’re right there, Seth” Edward said. “They love each other, but they both know there is a truer, stronger love out there and it is very frustrating that they know there is no point in giving in to what they do feel because they know that it will only lead to pain further down the line, so I’m guessing they would rather keep the love and friendship that they do have and know that this way they can never lose it.”

“How do you know that Bella loves Jake?” I asked and also wondered how he felt about it, but I knew it was not my business so I mentally told him not to worry about answering the last point.

“Jasper showed me. In many ways it’s a purer love than the one she feels for me; it’s not quite familial, but closer to familial than lover like, but it is a strong abiding love and I’m sure that if she didn’t feel the love she fees for me, or, better yet, had never felt that love, she would have been very happy to live her life with Jake; until he imprinted on someone: and even then it would not devastate her the way I did when I left her. That is why it does not bother me, except in so far as I half wish that it was enough for them, for Bella’s sake.” 

Well I received a fuller answer than I expected, and perhaps more than I deserved with my musings. I guessed for the sake of my sanity, and that of every other nice girl or woman I come across, I should just wait and look for my imprint. I wouldn’t want to do to another what Sam accidentally did to Leah.

Luckily, I was not so far into my own head that I didn’t realise that two vampires were heading for the house.

‘I’m going to head around the back so they don’t know I’m here’ I thought to Edward.

Looking at the fight going on with the pack I saw that they were almost finished. I made sure that Sam was aware of what was happening here and he told Leah to make her way here: Leah was the fastest so could get here soonest.

The plan worked – almost. Leah was injured when she came to my rescue as I was fighting one vampire while Edward was fighting the redhead. Carlisle had to set her broken ribs and relocate her shoulder but said that she would be fine after some rest – thank goodness. 

Bella slept through the whole thing, including the fight with the two vampires who came here looking for Bella. I couldn’t believe that they thought that it was someone else sleeping upstairs, someone who was perhaps a relative of Bella. The transfusions and sedatives made enough of a difference to Bella’s scent to put them off. Edward said that they thought it was possible that we had killed Bella with the blood and scent at the main battle field – idiots.

I hung around the Cullens’ place for a while with Leah until she was ready to run home and saw the rest of the Cullens return home with some of the pack. I knew about the pack injuries, or at least what they felt, but Jasper was grasping his arm where there was a hole in   
his sleeve.

“He had a bite taken out, it still stings until it has fully healed” Edward said. “Alice is cross with him because he got it when he interfered in one of her fights. Emmet thinks it is hilarious that one of his legs was pulled off and in his hurry to attach it he put it on back to front. He half wishes he hadn’t let Rosalie pull it off again so he could see what it would be like. Oh, no! He’s now thinking about Rosalie examining his wound later, ugh! Rosalie is a bit annoyed that she had some of her hair pulled out and Esme is lying to everyone by saying that her wrist that was almost snapped off, does not hurt in the slightest. Ah, as you will have felt, Embry got hurt, broken jaw and loss of two teeth, but Tanya took care of the one responsible, as well as a couple that were in her way. Oh, Paul is upset because he has a compound fracture of his arm and Carlisle will have to operate to reset it otherwise he will lose the use of it. He thinks that as soon as he is opened up we’re going to pounce on him in a feeding frenzy. Do you think he will be disappointed when he comes to to find he is one piece?” Edward asked and I thought he was probably right about Paul.

The pack were grateful for the care the vampires, especially Carlisle, had shown and briefly there appeared to accord between us and the Cullens. I only hoped it would last, but I wasn’t holding my breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's the holiday season, but please stay safe: let yourself and help others to live to enjoy many more of them.
> 
> Happy and safe holidays to all.

**Author's Note:**

> A short chapter to begin with, but I promise they do get longer!
> 
> Please let me know what you think.


End file.
